John Paul Jackson - Forever changed

He taught us to hear. He taught us to trust. He taught us to see.

      

           It's hard for us to believe John Paul Jackson has passed away. JPJ was the first Bible teacher to speak into my life. His ministry inspired and challenged my husband and I since our early years. He understood us. He had experiences like us. He was humble. He was a spiritual father. Our hearts are broken.

        John Paul Jackson's ministry always  emphasized character as a key element in our spiritual lives. He challenged us to believe God and walk with integrity. He inspired us to live a holy life in every area of our lives. He is also one of the only teachers I know that spoke about spiritual integrity.  As a young teen, I remember throwing away all my magazines with horoscopes in the back, I haven't read another horoscope since. I got rid of movies, t-shirts and anything that brought blatant worship to anything other than our God. This has carried into our adult lives. I truly credit his ministry for many of the super natural events in our lives. He pointed us to holiness as teens and as we perused holiness, miracles continued to manifest in our lives. He never separated the two and we as adults have not separated the two.

         I'm filled with tears just thinking about him and his gentle yet bold spirit. He carried a calm and quiet confidence that is rare. I remember as a teen I heard JPJ share his heart about the rejected and misunderstood. He said he was not after the crowds and fans. He was committed to reaching the ones left out by the mainstream church. His heart was to show the outsiders that God loved them, God was speaking to them and God could heal them. He'd take a team and minster at new age conventions, to witches and people who were in the occult. He wanted them to know God was the true source of power and light, and our God loved them and created them with purpose. He would often say for every good gift of God the enemy has made a cheap copy to mimic it. 

           John Paul Jackson will forever be missed. I honestly can't believe he's not here anymore. I know we will see him again one day, but knowing I'll never read a new article, hear another live teaching, or take a class by him is heart breaking. We will never understand why some live a 100yrs and others pass away so young. Our times are in God's hands and we must trust him. 

          It's hard knowing new generations of Christians will never know John Paul Jackson the way we did. You will forever be missed. You taught us the power in holiness, you taught us to trust God radically, you taught us to hear and you taught us to see. We love you and will see you again.

Is this you?

But he was chosen...

Connections

  "Be agreeable, be sympathetic, be loving, be compassionate, be humble. That goes for all of you, no exceptions. No retaliation. No sharp-tongued sarcasm. Instead, bless—that’s your job, to bless." 

- 1 Peter 3:8 MSG

        The enemy loves ruining God connections because he knows how powerful those connections would be if they were fully realized. The enemy often realizes a God connection before we do. This is one reason we should practice forgiveness. When we allow love to fill our lives the Lord is able to restore what the enemy tried to destroy. The enemy usually gets his hits in first because he's been scheming behind the scenes. The only way the enemy wins is if we choose bitterness, resentment and a judgmental attitude. But if we allow love to rule and reign - if we give second chances - God will fulfill what He intended.

     You see, the enemy knows it takes connections, it takes unity, it takes a healthy thriving church body to walk in fullness. The enemy is always looking for opportunities to to cause division.  He's always lying, scheming and desperately trying to destroy relationships, but he can't win unless we allow our hearts to harden.
      "I have a serious concern to bring up with you, my friends, using the authority of Jesus, our Master. I’ll put it as urgently as I can: You must get along with each other. You must learn to be considerate of one another, cultivating a life in common." - 2  Corinthians 1:10 MSG

    When we allow love to cover the sins of our brothers and sisters -  realizing it's the enemy's goal to cause division, we stop his evil plans. What can the enemy do to a forgiving community? He can't stop restoration when we allow God to heal our hurt.  
      "Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace." - Ephesians 4:1-6 NIV

        I encourage you as I encourage myself, to always see past the obvious, past what the enemy may be trying to do and see what God's plan may have been. Then, forgive! God is a restoring God. It's our own sinful nature and hurt that stop His plans and the enemy knows this. If we settle in our hearts to be quick to forgive, quick to cover, quick to give out second chances, quick to love those who hurt us there is no limit to what God can do.
      "Finally, brothers and sisters, rejoice! Strive for full restoration, encourage one another, be of one mind, live in peace. And the God of love and peace will be with you." - 2 Corinthians 13:11 NIV

How can it be

Unplug

         Many people struggle with bad habits, hangups and addictions. In America especially, the idea of demons has been washed over with science and self-help. The thing is, if the root cause is not addressed people will fall powerless over their dysfunctional behaviors. Getting rid of a demon is like unplugging or switching off a fan. Once the fan is unplugged it may spin several more times as it slows down and completely stops. Similarly, in our lives when we remove the demonic force empowering the behavior, your behavior will spin several more times out of habit but without the power it will complete stop. 

        After deliverance the dysfunction will be gone forever, unless a person plugs back in and allows the demon access again. Sometimes people allow demons access to their lives again because they don't know what to replace the dysfunction with after it's gone, "idle hands are the devil’s workshop." 

       Some will roll their eyes at what I'm sharing, but once they've experienced the freedom they will no longer doubt. The devil loves making people think he does not exist. An eye opening book everyone should read is, They Shall Expel Demons by Derek Prince. At the end of the book he even leads people in a prayer of repentance, forgiveness and deliverance over their own lives. 

       Admitting you need deliverance does not mean you are a bad person or evil. I know that is a fear for some. I'd actually argue the opposite. The enemy only attacks those he feels threatened by. God has great plans for your life that the enemy does not want you to fulfill. Plus, we are in a fallen world, some demonic strongholds begin in childhood, or generations earlier and are passed down. Admitting you need help in this area does not mean you are bad in any way.  There is no shame! :-)

       We can wrestle our whole lives trying to be set free without truly attaining it. God has already done His part and set us free. We must use our authority! I encourage the skeptics to try what Derek Prince suggests and see for themselves. It's a huge missing piece to mainstream Christianity.

Sometimes people try....

Prayer releasers

         I've learned that much of what we hear from God is for us to pray about, not deliver. I spent much of my earlier years as a Christian wrestling with this. I'd be out shopping and I'd be hit with a "love wave" for someone. I'd never know what to do or what to say, "umm, excuse me, I feel God's love for you." (haha) and that works - people need to know, but many times it's not the point of the wave. The point is prayer! Maybe add, "Is there anything I can pray with you about?"

        Other times approaching someone is not an option, the nudging from the Holy Spirit was not for them, but for you. It's prayer fuel. I have gotten to a point where most of my alone driving time is  spent in prayer. I have worship music on and I start saying praises to God and then start flowing in the Holy Spirit and prayer. It starts off small. First, you're praying for the homeless man at the red light, then the family in the car next to you and the man with a busted up car etc. etc. You're prayer muscle continues to grow. 

       My husband is used to me bursting into random prayer while driving when I see someone or something that moves me or saying, "Honey, let's pray for this person/situation real quick." and we pause and pray. Other times I prayer under my breathe, or in my heart. Usually if I have to pray in my heart I will take out my phone and type the prayer in my "notes" app. It's a better release than holding in for me.  And there are times I have to get away, to a quiet alone place and pray it out for a longer period of time. 

      I spent much of my earlier years hoarding these impressions and feelings. It was overwhelming for such a sensitive person. Learning that prayer was the point of it all set me free.   The key is obey the Holy Spirit. Again, as you grow in this area the Holy Spirit will lead you to do different things. I always loved driving around my neighborhood and praying over the houses and families- speaking blessings and safety. Your prayer life with God can take on many shapes.

        Some of you reading this may feel the same way. You are overly sensitive. You feel everything. You absorb the sensations around you like a sponge. You are called to pray! Not everyone notices the things that you notice, trust me! You may have even grown up feeling ashamed of your sensitive nature, but I'm hear to tell you, it's a gift! Prayer changes everything. 

      When we pray it releases the pain and pressure of all the things you pick up on in the Spirit. As you continue to use prayer as a release, you being to see that prayer was the point from the beginning and you stop holding those feelings for long periods of time. You sense it, you prayer it out, repeat. You stop wrestling on how to deliver words to someone made of all the jumbled up things you've seen/felt/heard in the Spirit for them. Instead, you become a person of continuous prayer.

El Shaddai

Being moved by the Spirit

     We hear a lot about being firm and steady, about digging our roots down deep so we can stand in any storm, but there are times we need to be moved. Are we sensitive to the Holy Spirit? Are we moved like leaves in the wind? The more we learn to respond to the Holy Spirit the more sensitive we become and the deeper our relationship with God grows.

       It all starts and ends with prayer. If we want to be sensitive to the Holy Spirit we must be people of dedicated prayer. Prayer is not limited to a designated place or time. It's a lifestyle of prayer - our spirit is in constant communion with God. You can pray without speaking, without closing your eyes and bowing your head. You can pray throughout the day without anyone even knowing it. It's about connection. 

      What does being sensitive and moved by the Holy Spirit mean? What does it look like in everyday life? Being moved by the Holy Spirit in every day life means that we are responding to His desires. For me, I can be driving and get a feeling - I respond by praying. I pray for the person I'm thinking about. I pray about the imagine I see in my Spirit. Often times people see things in their imagination and they dismiss it as day dreaming or reminiscing or something natural when in fact it is a picture from the Holy Spirit. These pictures, feelings and sensations are nudges from the Holy Spirit, they are beckoning us to pray, speak, declare in behalf of someone or something. 

       God's best plans are often one prayer away from manifestation. You may be the only one to ever pray for that individual or situation. When you learn to be faithful with the small nudges your sensitivity increases and you find that you are moving more and more frequently under the influence of the Holy Spirit - one act of obedience at a time.

        Other than feelings and images in our holy imagination, you may wake up from a troubling or encouraging dream. These things should be prayed about also. The Holy Spirit is always trying to communicate with us. As you grow, the Holy Spirit will develop spiritual habits in your life. For example, some people have a huge world map in their house. They pray over the map and the Holy Spirit leads them to pray about difference situation around the world. Others may get words of encouragement for co-workers and classmates and share it in a card or letter. Some, like me, write blogs, books, write songs etc. The possibilities are endless.  The key is developing the ability to listen. 

         When I was younger I used to get heavy mood swings that would cause sadness or fear. I never understood. I'd try to figure it.  Finally the Holy Spirit said, "Pray!" As I grew I realized these were not feelings part of me, they were prayer fuel. I was being beckoned to pray for a situation or person. As we mature we realize not all our feelings are our own. We are called to carry people's burdens and in order to pray more effectively sometimes we are allowed to feel what another feels.

        As you become more comfortable with this you may even cry for others while praying. You may speak words that are hidden deep in their heart and hit the bull's eye in prayer. The depths we can go with God are endless. We help bring restoration to people when we allow ourselves to be moved by the Holy Spirit. The more we say, "Yes" and bend to the Holy Spirit the more sensitive we become.

Call on the Name - Vertical Church

You're going East

      Your life is going East. Your future is East. God uses the picture of the sun rising in the East throughout my dreams as a symbol of Him moving us forward. Our lives are always moving forward with God. I realize this is a generalization and the sun rise isn't exactly east year-round, but it's the symbol, not science that brings the encouragement. My husband and I always look at each other and say, "We're going East!" anytime one of us gets stuck in a rut of some sort. It's a quick reminder that our future is forward and not in the rear view mirror.

       As long as we remain connected to the vine (Jesus) our life will steadily move forward. It can be painful to leave old things behind, but we have hope that tomorrow holds more love and life than the things of yesterday. We must walk in faith, knowing that God has our lives all planned out - we must only choose who we will serve (Joshua 24:15). When we choose Jesus, we choose the best path for our life. We choose what we were created for! 

       It doesn't matter how hard the future looks. When we choose God, He goes above and beyond to meet us where we are. Whatever obstacles we face whether physical, mental, emotional or spiritual - He sees us - He knows us- and He meets us! You are going East!

Spiritual Serial Killers

 "In this way we are like the various parts of a human body. Each part gets its meaning from the body as a whole, not the other way around. The body we’re talking about is Christ’s body of chosen people. Each of us finds our meaning and function as a part of his body. But as a chopped-off finger or cut-off toe we wouldn’t amount to much, would we? So since we find ourselves fashioned into all these excellently formed and marvelously functioning parts in Christ’s body, let’s just go ahead and be what we were made to be, without enviously or pridefully comparing ourselves with each other, or trying to be something we aren’t."- Romans 12:4-6 THE MESSAGE 

    I had a dream the other day about "Spiritual Serial Killers". We can see in the Bible that it's God's desire for us to be connected as a people, to live in unity, as a functioning body. In my dream the serial killer was cutting up bodies and hanging parts on trees to rot. Gross! But that's what spiritual serial killers do. They, "cut you off form the body, and hang you out to dry."

      We often miss the warnings God tries to give us. These warnings are meant to help bring unity and health; it's not a form of condemnation. I believe if more people saw these warnings as a form of loving wisdom instead of condemnation, they'd be more willing to listen.

    There is power when we're connected. Spiritual serial killers understand the importance of being connected more than many people understand it. It just depends if they are killing on purpose or as self-preservation. The one killing for self-preservation may feel threatened by someone's superiority, gifting, skills, looks etc. They don't see their destructive actions clearly. They justify it as protecting their  turf.

     However, in my dream the spiritual serial killers knew what they were doing. Their goal was to cut off any person who had a true gift to bless others, because as the Bible says, "But as a chopped-off finger or cut-off toe we wouldn’t amount to much, would we?" If spiritual serial killers can get us alone, they can limit our gifts, they instinctively know in order to expand we need connection. When a body part is cut off from the body, it will bleed to death and rot. Our gift and contribution to society is handicapped without connection. Once we are cut off, the spiritual serial killer simply has to wait it out - it's only a matter of time.

     I've learned to never put anything past anyone. I've seen and experienced some crazy things, nothing surprises me anymore. We need to stop protecting the people that insist on carrying out division. Our agendas and favoritism will always cloud our ability to spot a spiritual serial killer.

      The spiritual serial killer's goal is to get people to leave the community their in, break fellowship, and hang out alone, cut off until they've bled to death. If you notice one person at the center of countless people disconnecting it may be wise to investigate the situation further. Send out an email or letter. Ask people why they've left or pushed away. Give them freedom to be blatantly honest without fear of hurting your feelings. That's the only way to reconnected with someone who has been cut off. 

     God's gifted people in many ways. Each of us is important. We are all on the same team. It's when we faithfully do our part that the world changes.

It's Time to Dream

         I've been following Jason Heilman's music for years. I was introduced to his creative ministry by a friend who sent me a youtube video. I was hooked. Recently, he's released a new song, "It's Time To Dream" -  fitting for the beginning of this new year.

          We all have dreams God's put in us that we've lost hope in along the way. Life has a crazy way of filling us with doubt, enslaving our schedules and stealing the very things God is trying to birth in our lives. This song will minister hope and encouragement back to you. It will empower you to believe what God has spoken to you and revisit some of the dreams you may have laid down. God is going to finish the work he's started in you!

 "There are good works he's prepared in advance for you to do."

2001 Flood Dream

         I wish I had documented a hard copy of this testimony when it happened but I didn't. I can only share from my and my families memory. Details like time and day of the week are missing, but the whole of the event is still clear. 

          I was laying on my bed when I had a vision. A vision usually happens when we are awake. I was awake and a vision/picture  of a flood came before me and my home church, Lakewood Church was above the storm. I saw news crews, people dropping off items, others in need picking up items, people in wedding clothes, people sleeping there and Lakewood being a safe place. I stood up after seeing the vision and told my parents. I had no idea what it meant. In my young mind I worried it was the end of the world (haha) and people were going to hide out at my church (haha). My vision didn't give me the context of the event. I just knew what I saw nothing more or less. 

        This is where my memory falls short. I don't know if it was later that day, a day after or a few days after, but at some point my family was watching TV together and my mom calls out for me to, "hurry, hurry, look at the TV. It's what you saw!" I run out and see my vision on the news in real time. I was 17 years old at the time.

       

        One news article reported back in 2001,

       " In the hard-hit northeastern part of the city, more than 3,300 people took refuge on Saturday night in the Lakewood Church, which eventually became the largest refugee center of more than 30 across the city.

     "People just started coming and kept on coming because they had no place else to go," the church's pastor, the Rev. Joel Osteen, said. "Eventually, city workers started dropping people off here in dump trucks because they were the only vehicles that could get through the water."

Short of food by Saturday morning, Mr. Osteen recruited two brothers- in-law with Chevy Suburbans and a family friend for a visit to Sam's Discount Club, where they spent $3,000 on ingredients for sandwiches.

       "Every time we returned with a load of food, the crowd of people would have gotten larger and we'd have to go make another trip," he said.

       But by today, the local news media had reported about food shortages at the church, and area residents bearing food, diapers, clothing and bottled water created a traffic jam in the streets outside the church."

        My family and I watched it play out on TV and later volunteered with the church to help fix up people's houses and clear out all the trash.
        One lady who was interviewed stated as she surveyed the damage, "I was raised in this house. I'm 54 years old. And I've never seen anything like this."

Release it!

"Jesus didn't say: "According to God's will let it be done for you"
Jesus did say: "According to your faith let it be done for you"
You're waiting on God to move... but God's waiting on you.

End the stalemate!

Open your mouth son of God! Release the creative power of life with your tongue!Grab hold of the keys to kingdom of heaven and open doors that no one can shut,  and shut doors that no one can open!
Grab hold of your enemies' sword and take off that giant's head!
The fire that's raging in you is contagious!
Release it, beloved! Release it!"

 - Scott VanderWerf

Commmunication

        Miscommunication is a huge road block for the majority of people. Verbal communication is hard enough to get right without adding in all the nonverbal cues we pick up on. Even people who think of themselves as great communicators miss the mark by assuming they can read others well. Countless factors play into a person's expressions. Unless you know each person's individual factors you wont read them correctly - leading to miscommunication.

     There are dangers when judging people by their body language and facial expressions. I used to believe we could read people by their outward expressions, but the more I grow the more I'm realizing how wrong our expressions often are. Many things contribute to the way someone represents themselves and their nonverbal communication. These things include but are not limited to anxiety (fear/worry), depression (chemical imbalances), current events (positive or negative), health/sickness, family life etc.

       When interviewing for a job, or meeting new people we try and put our best foot forward and give a good first impression. However, I didn't know we needed to put work into representing ourselves day in and day out. I just assumed the truth in my heart would show through on it's own. But as I'm currently learning, many things we have no control over  play into how others read us.

         For instance, have you heard of the RBF? Forgive my language, RBF stands for "Resting B*tch Face". I wish it was called something else but that's the popular term. It's when your natural resting face looks mean or serious. I think I've suffered with this my whole life, but only realizing this within the last two years. It makes me wonder how many times I given off the wrong impression when in fact my heart was full of love.

          If I'm not purposefully putting on a pleasant face, my face naturally looks mean - it's just the way my face muscles rest. Am I a mean person? Absolutely not! Actually, if you ask those closest to me they'd say I'm silly, thoughtful and forgiving. By only judging my face you wouldn't know this. I may come across as unfriendly or uninterested when in fact my facial expressions have nothing to do with what's going on inside of me. With this discovery I'm learning not to put a lot of weight in people's faces.

        Along with our face, our expressions to different life events can be misread as well. Miscommunication is a bigger issue than I ever realized and communicating well is a lot more work than I ever imagined! We have different ideas about what reads as -  pleasant, excited, sad, dismissive, accepting, sarcastic, rude etc. We have ideas of what these things sound and look like to us, but others may have a different opinion about those expressions or not even realize they are using the wrong expressions. Unless we are willing to put in the hard work of good communication we likely encounter miscommunication with the majority of people we meet. How many connections are we missing out on because people don't respond or act in a way that lines up with our senses.

           You may read shallowness, phoniness, and sincerity one way, while the friend you're getting to know sees those traits a different way. Unknowingly they end up giving mixed messages about their sincerity because they don't have a "mirror" to see themselves. Anxiety may be causing them to give off the wrong signals, causing you to read them wrong. There are so many things that factor into a person's nonverbal communications. How many relationships have we walked away from over miscommunication. 

        Look at criminals, they are master communicators. Some of the worst serial killers walked among normal people and were held up as model citizens until their exposure. They mastered good communication to a certain extent in order to manipulate our senses and build trust. Most people however don't study human behavior that closely, we don't have criminal minds or criminal motivations. We go our whole lives misrepresenting ourselves, or believing the wrong things about others. Nonverbal communication is a huge obstacle simply because we don't know we're doing it wrong or that it even exists.

           From here on out I'm going to give extra grace to people and give the benefit of the doubt, realizing most people don't know what they are actually communicating. Miscommunication is the cause of  many walls that separate us. As I continue to see the stones that build these walls, I'll continue to write and expose them in hopes we can grow in unity and love for one another.

I Didn't Know My Own Strength

Lost touch with my soul
I had nowhere to turn, I had nowhere to go
Lost sight of my dream
Thought it would be the end of me

I, I thought I'd never make it through
I had no hope to hold on to
I, I thought I would break

I didn't know my own strength
And I crashed down and I tumbled, but I did not crumble
I got through all the pain
I didn't know my own strength

Survived my darkest hour, my faith kept me alive
I picked myself back up, hold my head up high
I was not built to break
I didn't know my own strength

Found hope in my heart
I found the light to life my way out of the dark
Found all that I need here inside of me

Oh, I thought I'd never find my way
I thought I'd never lift that weight
I thought I would break

I didn't know my own strength
And I crashed down and I tumbled, but I did not crumble
I got through all the pain
I didn't know my own strength

Survived my darkest hour, my faith kept me alive
I picked myself back up, hold my head up high
I was not built to break
I didn't know my own strength

There were so many times
I wondered how I'd get through the night
I thought I took all that I could take

I didn't know my own strength
And I crashed down and I tumbled, but I did not crumble
I got through all the pain
Oh, I didn't know my own strength

My faith kept me alive
I picked myself back up, I hold my head up high
I was not built to break
I didn't know my own strength

I was not built to break, no, no
I got to know my own strength

What is community?

        What is community? Throughout the Bible I see pictures of Christians living life together as one, yet I've never seen this in my own life. I've seen a few missionary groups live this way, but they excluded anyone outside of their circle. I've seen random secs of Christians here and there form community, but rarely. I haven't seen it as the norm. Why is that? How is it possible for Christians to suffer from extreme loneliness when there are members of the Body of Christ everywhere? How have we be become so independent in our living and moving around day to day? 

        If there is community it's usually a group of people who idolize a leader of some sort, so the community is based off of mutual worship of a pastor or famous person within the church, it's not based on true fellowship - oneness of spirit and worship of God. How would we even create a healthy thriving community of believers? 

       I wish more people would begin asking these questions within themselves. Questions lead to answers and answers lead to solutions/change. This has been my prayer for a while now. We need God answers, God solutions, because what we've been doing as the church hasn't been working. There are to many people left out. There are many who are disconnected and scattered. 

          We've focused on many things as the church, but the main focus that will continue to take shape is, family. Not just your family and my family, but THE family of God. How do we expect individual families to thrive and function when we as a church are not functioning as a family? Family first. 

         I know part of God's role for my husband and I is to, "gather those who have been scattered", as the Lord told us. Many have given up on community, but they have not given up on Jesus. Let us focus and pray about true community, that we may gather together in power, unity and love - transforming family from the inside out.

What's your story so far?

            For many years I believed the lie that sharing our testimonies was frowned upon because people think you are showing off, and some even labeling those experiences as not from God, or whatever it may be. 

            When you start sharing about God's power and His ability to interrupt our reality the demons start throwing mean and hateful words your way. But we can't let a few spiritual bullies stop us from sharing what God does for us. Our testimonies encourage the ones with hearts after God. Evil people in the church hate the testimonies of the saints, but the true church, the children of God, rejoice over them.

          What's your story? Join with me in asking God how He wants us to share it. :-)