Discouragement

   Discouragement. We all experience it. But when we have a relationship with Jesus, the King of Kings He knows exactly how to encourage us. For me, God always sings a song to me. Either as I sleep a song plays over and over, or when I wake up a song comes to me, or in prayer one bubbles us and the lyrics always blow my mind because they hit perfectly.
     Well last night my hubs dreamed my eyes were candles and he kept trying to light them but my tears kept turning them off. I prayed about his dream and "Light in Your eyes"  by LeAnn Rimes began playing in my spirit. Seriously, only GOD knows our hearts and ALWAYS has the perfect words. There is so much comfort knowing God sees me and knows me like no one else. He's such a great father, an amazing King and I will worship Him all my days. 

High School Roles

       I've spend years in church and what I've learned is that the role you had in High School will probably be the same social group you will be drawn to in life, including church. You may not believe me but ask those you consider friends in church. I bet they were in the same group you were in while in High School or reflect your same experience.
        Were you popular? I bet your buddies in church were too. Ask! All the popular people still have the same personality and are still drawn to each other, and acting just as preppy as ever. I'm not saying they are mean, I'm just saying it's the same. The same thing goes with everyone else. This is why there is such a cast system in church. This is why I was drawn to psychology and sociology. I see things differently. I notice things like this. I'm not being judgmental in my blogs. I shed light on these things in hopes that unity will prevail.
         Many times we don't know why we don't click with someone or why we are drawn to others. I'm speaking for myself as well. I was not "popular". I've always had a unique group of friends. I hung out with a little bit of everyone, but never really clicked with the "popular" people. I found myself not clicking with certain people at church and didn't know why. But then I realized who they were. They were the "popular" kids. The personality is still the same. When I realized what it was I was able to change and try and stretch myself for the sake of unity. It's not that anything was wrong with them or me. We just didn't click. We could both mature and grow in areas to help unity.
           Maybe you are "popular" and don't know why you don't click with someone. Well I'm telling you, it's probably because they fall into a different group which is most easily seen in high school where the cast system is more accepted, easily seen and less taboo. You see, in High School the group you fall into is more obviously because jocks have jackets, band people carry their instruments to and from school, cheerleaders wear their outfits and so forth, gothic kids wear black, rockers have the chains and spikes etc. Who we were was more clearly seen outwardly. As we get older most of us all begin looking the same for the most part, but our hearts, our personalities are still in those groups.
          I remember this one lady snubbed me at church. It was odd. I was like "okay?  You work with me!" She was nice but as I got to know her I realized she was a "popular girl". She's a grown women and yet still carries that with her. I could say hi to her but she was not going to address me first. She was drawn to the fashion forward, yuppy and those who were just as desperate to keep and maintain popularity. All her friends in church, her group, were all the popular kids in school too. Interesting, right? My tone in this blog is not one of judgment but fascination, so please don't read me wrong.
         There are these unseen social groups we fall into that stop us from truly embracing and loving each other the way we could if we recognized them. Who we were in high school is usually the social group we will fall into as an adult. As a church, though, we should work at ripping those walls down so we can all love each other better. That means dropping our prejudices and allowing people to be who they are and loving them anyway. The only one who knows our heart is God and ourselves. Lets take an honest look and ask what part we can play to promote unity.
         For me I had/have to stop the knee jerk/eye roll reaction I have to a preppy personality. I'm being honest. Many times we do  this to people without realizing it because we've done it so long. The hardest part is being honest with ourselves, after that it's easy. I know you just like me want to love people well. We only need to see what's hindering us and move it out of the way. :-)

Leaving Church?

     Before reading this please read the blog I posted before this one. It's a link to an article from Charisma.
       Now since you've read the article lets move forward to my blog and thoughts. I love this article. It's my hubs and my heart. The Lord asked us to start a bible study in our home for this reason. So many loving people who are discouraged about church (building) but still want fellowship - a safe place to share life with other believers.
       It's easy to demonize those who leave church but it's not an accurate view of those who leave. Many are God fearing and loyally in love with Jesus. Plus, demonizing them and calling them names is only going to push those who left farther away, proving in their minds/hearts why their leaving to begin with. 
     A few people commented on this article on Facebook saying those who left must not know Jesus or they must be focusing on the perfection of the pastor and not on Jesus and etc. But I don't think this is the case. Many I've talked to are discouraged about the people in church. They can't connect or break through. The New Testament is full of wisdom on how to get along and grow a thriving community of faith but you hardly hear pastors teaching on it. The apostles were no stranger to this. Much of the New Testament we read about them teaching people how to get along. It seems in today's church the normal people are leaving because of the misbehavior and unbalanced behavior of those within that never get corrected because everyone else is suppose to get over it. But the apostles did not have this attitude. So why do some of today's apostles exhibit this "toughen up" solution?
       Anywhere you have a group of people there will be issues because we are all different, but the key is allowing people to be open and honest so peace can be made. All to often people leave because they didn't feel safe enough to express their hurt either because of a lack of intimacy or a "get over it attitude" by those in the church. Unresolved issues cause people to pack up. Maybe the church is more focused on numbers and fame then on really touching people's lives and getting their hands dirty? If we are to help people and promote and thriving church fellowship our hands will have to get dirty sometimes.
        The bible says if we put in the work we will reap the benefits of a thriving community within our churches. But anytime someone mentions something that's tripping up the ultimate goal of unity they are told to toughen up, get over it and then they are isolated... so they leave. It's almost as if having a fake image of unity is more accepted then truly working toward the real thing. 
        People go to church for fellowship, family and connection and when they are lonely they won't stay. Church goers will say, "You have to go to church, you need accountability and relationship etc" but those who left are like, " I never got any of that at church just more rejection. What are you talking about?" You're either in or your out. Those who are in don't understand why those who are out feel the way they do and vise versa. The experience is quite different depending if your in or out. For this reason we can't be judgmental about people's experiences because each can be true at the same time.
       Sadly all to often if you are out and end up leaving you are then called rebellious. Rebellious is a word used to control those who don't fit our agenda. Many are tired of the social games, cliques, agendas.. and they simply want Jesus. How is this rebellious? I believe these small home churches the article mentions are God sent. I call them safe houses. They gather those who have been scattered and help heal their wounds.
       Another issues that's causing people to leave is charismatic abuse. I've heard so many heart breaking stories, experienced some and witnessed some. It's really turned us off from many charismatic places, which is unfortunate. I am spirit filled, but someone of the forcefulness of the charismatic movement has traumatized many including myself. That's why I believe my hubs and I would provide a safe place for fellowship within our home because we know what it's like on the other end.
    It's not surprising that within the comments the article received on Facebook how the attitude many face within the church surfaced. We express hurt and open our hearts about what's pushing us away and some still comment with flip quick remarks like, "Here's a simple solution: follow Christ.." Most people in church know to follow Christ and to look at Jesus. To say this simply proves that some don't want to be bothered. They are satisfied and don't want anyone messing up their perfect experience. The truth is as the article mentions this is a huge issue and many are leaving the church (building). Obviously, the flip remarks and the "just get over it attitude" is not a solution. Another poster said about those leaving church, "Perhaps, it is because the people in question are not truly Christian."  and a lady responded, "Not necessarily true. I have left church but not God. The churches I have attended are either dead and irrelevant, or too crazy charasmatic. Real bible teaching is practically non-existent. Fellowship...what fellowship! I've attended church (several different ones) for over 10 years and have no one in any of those churches I am in contact with. Cliques and groups rule. Not interested." I'd have to agree with the ladies response. How are we going to again demonize those who leave by saying they are not Christians? Instead we should look in the mirror and ask why are they leaving? Switching churches is hard, it's not fun. If people are leaving there are reasons. It would be wise to listen to those reasons, pray about them and see if God would have a solution or better way for us next time.
    Several people who commented got it right, in my opinion. They said, "Are they really leaving the Church? Or are they leaving traditional religion, manipulating organizations in search of a deeper truer relationship with God. Some are being called into "New wineskins." and " I think the heart of the article is not that people are leaving "church" but many are 'becomeing the Church" more in small simple fellowships then in big buildings... more like the original "Church"...
      I don't want anyone who reads this to think I'm against church (building) because that's not true. Even in our Bible studies I'll always encourage people to find a church or be faithful at the churches they are in. There are lots of great churches out there but no perfect church. Remember churches are hospitals for the hurting and everyone is welcome, therefore you will not always have the experience you hope for all the time. The key is having leadership that addresses issues, builds bridges and creates an atmosphere were hurt is safe to expose and be healed. The question is not if you will get hurt it's when. And when you do does your church promote healing,forgiveness and unity? Or does it sweep it under the rug, tell you to toughen up, and act careless to things hindering fellowship?

Why Are So Many Christians Quitting Church?

Why Are So Many Christians Quitting Church?