The way the baptism of the Holy Spirit with the evidence of speaking in tongues is administered may intimidate & scare some people. I know because I used to be one of those people. I'm quiet, I don't like attention or performing in front of others. I'm happy in the background. But the baptism of the Holy Spirit is usually administered in groups and some people have louder displays of manifestation than others. So you may be left wondering if you measure up. Why wasn't my experience as intense? While at the same time dreading and secretly hoping your experience isn't as crazy or as public.
I can honestly say the Holy Spirit is always extremely gentle with me. It's people, groups and ministers who can be rough. I was blessed to be part of a church in my teens and early 20s that was encouraging and shared many unique testimonies about the Holy Spirit that made me feel safe. For example, they shared a testimony about a famous preacher who only received one word, one single sound when baptized in the Holy Spirit. He spoke that one word over and over until the Holy Spirit gave him more.
This testimony blessed me tremendously because I had a similar experience. I received one word while women next to me started speaking sentences and paragraphs in the Holy Spirit. They were loud , shaking excitedly and bold. Whereas I was shy, uncomfortable and intimidated by the entire setting and experience. I felt almost embarrassed and ashamed that I didn't get a full language at first, or so it seemed. But the testimony about this prominent preacher only getting one word was exactly what I needed to hear. And maybe it's what you need to read?
After that anytime I was driving my car or in my bedroom I'd turn off my worship music and sing my own songs to God and then say the word I had received while also praising God interchangeably. I'd do this over and over until I got two words, then three word, until I had a complete language that flowed.
Sometimes we don't receive the evidence of speaking in tongues because we stop perusing it after an event. You may only want it while a minister is inviting you to participate but when you leave you forget about it. It's important that you want it. The Holy Spirit is not going to force you or possess you. We must desire it!
I remember that I never let it go. I was holding on until it was completely mine. I never lost focus or forgot what I wanted. I remember getting a Joyce Meyer's tape on the baptism of the Holy Spirit which I played over and over again, too. I also listened to Lisa Comes minster about the Holy Spirit many times, which always blessed me tremendously. I remember going up for prayer several times after receiving my prayer language because I wanted more. I'm so thankful I pushed through the awkwardness because being completely filled with the Holy Spirit, with the evidence of speaking in tongues, for the last 14ish yrs has been worth it!
I've also heard testimonies of people being baptized in the Holy Spirit alone in their bed rooms. God knows your personality and what you need. Find a place you're at peace. Or find a friend you trust who is able and willing to lead and minister to you in this area.
I share this because I deeply love the body of Christ and I know there are many like me. If that's you, I want you to feel peace, I want you to feel loved, I want you to feel safe and encouraged. Not every spirit-filled tongue-talking, vision-seeing, dream-writing, casting-out demons Christian is a loud extrovert. Some of us have anxiety and wrestle depression and dislike crowds and being center stage. We come in all shapes, sizes, personalities and comfort zones. I know how often only one type of charismatic Christian is highlighted, which leaves the more reserved Christians feeling like something is wrong.
I read a book that gave statistics on how many Introverted spirit-filled Christians leave charismatic churches and settle for a more traditional church setting because they can't handle the overwhelming amount of extroverts and extroverted directed activities that take place at many Spirit-filled churches. It really makes you wonder. Somehow and someway being extroverted has become the most Godly and celebrated personality trait in some places. It's simply not true. There is an entire group of Spirit Filled Christians many churches are chasing away and neglecting. Sadly, they have found their home elsewhere, usually in churches that don't recognize or benefit from their spiritual gifts they carry. I believe that's a disservice to the entire body of Christ. I would love to see more reserved and introverted people participating and enjoying fellowship in places that flowed in the Spirit.
My husband and I are fairly reserved for some places and a bit more expressive than other places. I know my hubby will start jumping in worship when the Holy Spirit moves him. I know my hands will shake and feel hot and I'll often cry while praising God and being moved by His presence. Everyone is different. And everyone's peace zone is different. Maybe God will stretch you slowly or maybe He won't. But who you are in this moment is enough. There is no judgment. There is no shame. The Holy Spirit is our comforter and friend. He is for us and not against us.
Maybe I'll begin sharing more of my insecure awkward moments and how I survived them in hopes it encourages someone. I know those types of testimonies always strengthen me.
I can honestly say the Holy Spirit is always extremely gentle with me. It's people, groups and ministers who can be rough. I was blessed to be part of a church in my teens and early 20s that was encouraging and shared many unique testimonies about the Holy Spirit that made me feel safe. For example, they shared a testimony about a famous preacher who only received one word, one single sound when baptized in the Holy Spirit. He spoke that one word over and over until the Holy Spirit gave him more.
This testimony blessed me tremendously because I had a similar experience. I received one word while women next to me started speaking sentences and paragraphs in the Holy Spirit. They were loud , shaking excitedly and bold. Whereas I was shy, uncomfortable and intimidated by the entire setting and experience. I felt almost embarrassed and ashamed that I didn't get a full language at first, or so it seemed. But the testimony about this prominent preacher only getting one word was exactly what I needed to hear. And maybe it's what you need to read?
After that anytime I was driving my car or in my bedroom I'd turn off my worship music and sing my own songs to God and then say the word I had received while also praising God interchangeably. I'd do this over and over until I got two words, then three word, until I had a complete language that flowed.
Sometimes we don't receive the evidence of speaking in tongues because we stop perusing it after an event. You may only want it while a minister is inviting you to participate but when you leave you forget about it. It's important that you want it. The Holy Spirit is not going to force you or possess you. We must desire it!
I remember that I never let it go. I was holding on until it was completely mine. I never lost focus or forgot what I wanted. I remember getting a Joyce Meyer's tape on the baptism of the Holy Spirit which I played over and over again, too. I also listened to Lisa Comes minster about the Holy Spirit many times, which always blessed me tremendously. I remember going up for prayer several times after receiving my prayer language because I wanted more. I'm so thankful I pushed through the awkwardness because being completely filled with the Holy Spirit, with the evidence of speaking in tongues, for the last 14ish yrs has been worth it!
I've also heard testimonies of people being baptized in the Holy Spirit alone in their bed rooms. God knows your personality and what you need. Find a place you're at peace. Or find a friend you trust who is able and willing to lead and minister to you in this area.
I share this because I deeply love the body of Christ and I know there are many like me. If that's you, I want you to feel peace, I want you to feel loved, I want you to feel safe and encouraged. Not every spirit-filled tongue-talking, vision-seeing, dream-writing, casting-out demons Christian is a loud extrovert. Some of us have anxiety and wrestle depression and dislike crowds and being center stage. We come in all shapes, sizes, personalities and comfort zones. I know how often only one type of charismatic Christian is highlighted, which leaves the more reserved Christians feeling like something is wrong.
I read a book that gave statistics on how many Introverted spirit-filled Christians leave charismatic churches and settle for a more traditional church setting because they can't handle the overwhelming amount of extroverts and extroverted directed activities that take place at many Spirit-filled churches. It really makes you wonder. Somehow and someway being extroverted has become the most Godly and celebrated personality trait in some places. It's simply not true. There is an entire group of Spirit Filled Christians many churches are chasing away and neglecting. Sadly, they have found their home elsewhere, usually in churches that don't recognize or benefit from their spiritual gifts they carry. I believe that's a disservice to the entire body of Christ. I would love to see more reserved and introverted people participating and enjoying fellowship in places that flowed in the Spirit.
My husband and I are fairly reserved for some places and a bit more expressive than other places. I know my hubby will start jumping in worship when the Holy Spirit moves him. I know my hands will shake and feel hot and I'll often cry while praising God and being moved by His presence. Everyone is different. And everyone's peace zone is different. Maybe God will stretch you slowly or maybe He won't. But who you are in this moment is enough. There is no judgment. There is no shame. The Holy Spirit is our comforter and friend. He is for us and not against us.
Maybe I'll begin sharing more of my insecure awkward moments and how I survived them in hopes it encourages someone. I know those types of testimonies always strengthen me.
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