Devotional Collection :-)

Call on the name - Vertical Church Band

Call On The Name
Worship Leader: Seth McConkey
(Jason Ingram, Andi Rozier, Reuben Morgan)

My light when I'm lost
My rest when I'm weary
My peace in the raging storm
You will never falter, You will never fail

My song in the night
My shield in the battle
My help when I need it most
You will never falter, You will never fail

I will call on the name
I will call on the name of the Lord
My God is greater
Find my strength in the name
Find my strength in the name of the Lord
Jesus, my Savior

My sin on the cross
My promise of Heaven
My hope is in You alone
You will never falter, You will never fail

You will not falter, You will not fail
For You are strong to save
You will deliver, You will prevail
Yes, You will make a way

Anxiety and Christians

  "I know the end of the story, I come out from the wilderness leaning on my beloved." -Jon Thurlow

       Spending many years enveloped in the Christian system I knew the pressure to avoid all signs of anxiety. Yet, I sincerely struggled with anxiety since childhood. In many Christian circles such things are considered demonic and you are looked down on. I spent years bouncing from counselor to counselor trying to be “healed”. I went to countless prayer meetings, revivals, classes, fasted for days, read books etc. I believe I exhausted every outlet I could. Despite struggling with anxiety, God met me where I was and answered other prayers I had, but never addressed this anxiety.

       The pressure to hide my anxiety made it worse. The most freeing thing I’ve ever done was stop caring what other Christians think. Admitting when my anxiety flares up, admitting something is bothering me, admitting the struggles I face at times has brought more healing than any prayer meeting. I say this as respectfully as possible, knowing full well the power of prayer. It no longer fazes me when I hear crazy religious comments about anxiety because the people making those comments have never truly experienced an anxiety disorder. I see the comments for what they are, and from whom they come. These individuals have merely felt the anxiety that is common to most people – not a true, full blown, chemical imbalance. Those same people would gladly welcome a cast for a broken bone, pain medication for a headache, a prescription for high blood pressure, even surgery to remove an organ etc. Yet, anxiety must be cured spiritually. It’s hurtful for those struggling when in fact some anxiety disorders stem from the brain and can be picked up in brain scans as clearly as a bone fracture and the chemical imbalances often connected with anxiety show up as clearly as one’s insulin levels.

         At one point in my life I was prescribed medication for my anxiety and depression. The medication helped me tremendously and I was making great gains in my life. The prescription truly took the edge off and I was able to function normally. The down side was the significant weight gain and overwhelming sleepiness. For these reasons, I eventually stopped the medication thinking I was fixed, but slowly fell back down to where I was. I could not sustain the gains I made without the medication. Every time I fell back down I’d feel ashamed and broken, like, “what’s wrong with me?”

        Another season of my life led me to natural hormones, which again helped for several years until my body got used to them and they stopped working. I was told it could take 2-3 years before my body would respond to them again. I didn’t want to take synthetic hormones since I had read many bad long term side effects, and I didn’t have health insurance at the time. This led to another dark season of my life struggling with my health. When our body is out of balance everything messes up, not just anxiety, but everything! Our entire body functions with hormones. 

         Through prayer, I believe God led me to a Christian Chiropractor in 2009, where I learned about so many things, like “The power that created the body heals the body”, but not in a spiritual sense, but a physical sense, like, “Let food be thy medicine and medicine be thy food” (Hippocrates). I learned that our body was created to heal itself if given the right things. I changed my vitamins, I no longer drank milk, barely touch eggs, and hubby and I juice several times a week now. I’m always learning something new. For example, I always did cardio workouts, but I learned cardio can mess up my fragile chemical balance because my body thinks I’m under stress. Resistance training, weight lifting, and walking are better choices for my situation. I also learned about the power of natural Iodine and how many people are deficient in it.

         One of the most important things I’ve learned is how to follow peace (You can read my thoughts about my “peace zone vs comfort zone” in my book Remain and Oaks of Righteousness). Growing up in a Christian system where many people considered anxiety a major sin I picked up a bad habit of trying to fight anxiety every chance I got. Instead of following peace, I felt I had to confront my anxiety and push through; this is draining and continually sucked the life out of me. I’ve found so much life, love and joy simply following peace and avoiding anxiety. Sometimes the best solution is to walk away from something that is causing you anxiety, not try to conquer it. I would even argue that, that is what God wants from you anyway. Jesus is the prince of PEACE, we are following Him, therefore, follow PEACE. This revelation has truly brought new levels of freedom in my life. I no longer fight unnecessary battles, but I am winning the war in my life.  

         Since making these changes in my life my hormones have balanced out tremendously, but I still do struggle with anxiety and that’s okay. I’ve picked up many copping tools, like art therapy, gardening etc., that have brought me more freedom than any of the other religious things I’ve encountered. I’ve learned how gentle and kind God is to me. He walks with me. He cares. He knows me better than I could even imagine and He proves it over and over again in the most intimate ways.  

          There is no shame in our weakness because in our weaknesses He is strong and mighty. There is no shame leaning on Him, that’s the point, He wants us to lean on Him. He wants us to depend on Him. He wants us to be open and honest. He wants intimacy (into-me-see). We don’t have to have it all figured out and put together. He takes our broken pieces and makes something beautiful.

Called Me Higher - All Sons and Daughters

The gospel is this

“The gospel is this: We are more sinful and flawed in ourselves than we ever dared believe, yet at the very same time we are more loved and accepted in Jesus Christ than we ever dared hope.”

 -Tim Keller 

Your vibe attracts your tribe

       Your vibe attracts your tribe. True or false? I think it leans more toward true. I've been thinking about this a lot lately. Some people seem to find their tribe easily while others of us keep searching with no luck. This quote made me think, maybe some of us can't find our tribe because we're giving off the wrong vibe. There are many reasons we may give off the wrong vibe but I think one of the reasons, which ties into another blog I posted about communication, may be we aren't accurately expressing who we are on the inside. For some reason who we are on the inside and how we appear on the outside can get skewed.    

      This also ties into my post about shedding. We have to shed the old things, the things we've out grown. One thing we may need to shed is old communication styles. It's not vain to work on the outside. Some may feel focusing on the outside is shallow but the reality is non-verbal communication whether outward appearances, tone of voice, gestures, mannerisms and more play a huge role in what we're communicating and putting into the universe for others to read, which ties into my true colors blog post.   If it's true that our vibe attracts our tribe, then maybe those of us who keep attracting the wrong people and/or having issues finding our tribe are simply not sending out vibes that match our authentic inner selves. 

         What vibes are we sending out if we don't know and understand ourselves?  Some of us know ourselves well but we don't have words, expressions, and tools to express that on the outside. It's a mistake to think if we're not trying to give off a vibe that no vibe is being sent. People are reading and feeling us out no matter what. So if we aren't proactive about the message we're sending we are probably sending the wrong one. I see this more clearly in my own life now that I'm lookin back. 

       Every form of outward expression is sending out a message about who we are. If we aren't being direct the message will come out wrong. I think the key for those of us having issues finding our tribe is to tune in to who we are and then figure out how that would translate on the outside. When our outside message matches our inside then we attract the right people. 

      Where is our communication failing? Is it cosmetic? Sadly we all judge a book by it's cover - some more than others. Make a point to share parts of yourself though material expression like jewelry, makeup, hair etc. Show who you are in diffrent ways. The more information you share the more likely your tribe will recognize you and vice versa. Maybe our communication is failing in the area of body language. It's crazy how much people assume they know about us based on what our body does. Again, take some time to think about who you are and what you want to communicate with your body language. There is no such thing as opting out. If you choose not to be intentional then you run the risk of your outsides not matching your insides and that's when miscommunication happens. If people have to assume they will most likely assume wrong. I know this from years of experience. I'm still learning how to accurately communicate in this way. I've been learning all of this the hard way. I never gave much thought to my non-verbal communication growing up. It's only recently that I've consider that I've been communicating all the wrong things.

       So what's your vibe?  Summed up - those who find their tribe not only know who they are on the inside but know how to accurately express themselves on the outside. When the inside and outside match our vibe draws in the right people. When they don't match we send out the wrong message attracting people we don't deeply vibe with and are unrecognizable to our true tribe. 

Touch the Sky - Hillsong United

Shedding

      When we feel stuck it's often because we fear shedding our old skin. We can't take everything with us in every season of our journey. Don't be afraid to let go, to detox, to change, to shed.  Can you imagine if a snake refused to shed it's old skin? When a snake grows it's skin does not grow along with it. Our skin stretches and grows along with us throughout our lives, but snakes out grow their skin. They also never stop physically growing, so this shedding processes takes place for the snake's entire life.

     We are always growing as well. We will not continually grow physically like snakes, but we should be growing mentally, emotionally and spiritually. We need to remember that shedding is a natural process that gives way to growth. If we refuse to let go of the things we've outgrown we will never reach our full potential. If we insist on clinging to old traditions, places, people, ideas etc then we will miss opportunities to walk on the best paths for our lives.

     Sometimes snakes have trouble shedding their skin and need assistance.  The snakes that don't receive assistance for whatever reason - maybe because they are in the wild - will experience severe complications even death. One of the more common issues is blindness. Snakes don't have eye lids, but scales over their eyes, also know as "eye caps". If a snake retains multiple layers of eye caps because of a failure to shed it will go blind. The same is true for us, sometimes we need assistance. We can't see clearly when we aren't shedding.It will hinder and even kill our future.

      After a snake has successfully shed, it's colors are usually more vibrant. If we find our light is dim and our colors are fading it may be a sign we aren't allowing the shedding process to take place in our lives. Being courageous enough to walk away from things that no longer fit will prove to be one of the healthiest changes we make.

For King and Country - Shoulders

Finding joy in today

     "Everybody wants something extravagant in their lives, but no one wants something consistent." -Damon Thompson

      It's not bad to have a vision, to have a dream of something better. The problem is when we focus so much on what we want we forget to enjoy what we have. Some of us can get trapped praying for blessings, that we never pray, "God help me thrive where I am. Help me learn to embrace and love what you've already provided". We spend much of our lives envying, craving and focusing on tomorrow, totally neglecting God in our today.

       I've been guilty of this. I'm a natural dreamer in many ways. It was actually a sleeping dream that brought this to my attention. When I woke up I knew I needed to change my focus. I need to be thankful and thrive where God has planted me. If we spend our lives craving something else, looking to the future, we totally miss the opportunities that wait for us today. I've since changed some of my prayers. I'm asking God to help me appreciate and engage today while being hopeful for tomorrow.

       What if our plans are not His plans? Are we going to live unhappy and discontent? We have to learn to surrender and find happiness in what has been provided. Everyone's journey is different and we shouldn't spend our lives envying someone else. There are treasures hidden on our journey too, but we will totally miss them if we are focused on another person's journey.

Creating a healing oasis

     Creating healing spaces comes naturally to my hubby and I. We learned early on in our lives that in order to have inner peace we needed to live in beautiful and peaceful spaces. My hubby and I can both attest that this started as children. As adult home owners we find ourselves doing the same thing - my hubby even made his office at work into a little oasis.

     For some of us creating an oasis every where we go comes easily, but for some it may take a little more energy. I'd like to encourage you that the pay off is worth the effort. One way hubby and I set the mood for our healing spaces is with paint. Most of the rooms in our home are shades of blues and greens. We find these colors comforting, peaceful and yet energizing at the same time. I wont go into detail about how we decorate - decorating is personal for everyone - I will say it's important to have a space that brings you peace not anxiety - put in the effort to protect your peace zone.

      My favorite healing space at our house and the main one I want to talk about is our backyard. We don't always have the means to travel or go on beautiful vacations, but we can create a little healing oasis with nature in our own backyards. Even when we lived in an extra small apartment, views facing the parking lot, we made a little peaceful space on our tiny balcony using a few potted plants. Protecting our inner peace and nurturing our mental health needs to be a top priority.

     As  extremely sensitive people my hubby and I learned early on we needed a space to lick our wounds, heal and recharge. One thing my hubby loves is the sound of water. We found a used fountain and fixed it up a bit with paint and new parts. The lovely sound of water is healing to my hubby. I love the vibrant colors nature has to offer, so we planted different types of roses and crepe myrtles. 

      We are starting a veggie garden to supply our own veggies for our regular juicing routine. We've also created little cozy places throughout our backyard to sit. We have a spot by our fountain where we strung up some lights for romantic whimsical evenings. We have chairs under our shade tree, and some more on our deck area. All these little spaces allow us to go where we feel most at peace depending on our mood. Making our mental, emotional and spiritual health a priority by creating peaceful spaces pays off daily for us.

Dreamer - Isbells

Dream inspiration : Clothes that fit

       I dream almost daily, but a few months ago I had a dream that really encouraged me. In my dream I was standing near a rack of clothes in a store. I began trying on each piece of clothing on the rack. Some were big, some were small, and even the ones that fit, really didn't fit well. I remember looking at myself thinking, "This doesn't feel like me at all." I was very discouraged. Then, while feeling hopeless, my dream's view expands and I see the entire store filled with racks of clothes. I felt hope rise within me, "There are more clothes to choose from!" I knew I'd find something that fit and felt right on me. I just had to move away from the rack and go explore.

      Upon awaking, I knew the meaning of the dream. It encouraged me greatly. Thus far in my life I've often felt like I don't fit in anywhere. I've tried on a lot of things, tried to make things work even though the fit was off and it didn't feel like me. I've gotten discouraged thinking I'm stuck wearing clothes I don't like, clothes that don't inspire me, clothes that don't reflect who I am on the inside.  I've only spent my time trying clothes from one rack, I've tried to mix and match, do this and that, trying to get these clothes to work for me but they never will - I even hated the drab colors and style. I have to move on to other things. I need to explore. 

        After this dream, I've started to encourage people that the world is bigger than where they are. We often try to force ourselves to fit where we don't belong, in communities we don't thrive in, and take on roles for the sake of belonging even if it dims our light, but if we have courage and break away from what's comfortable and easy, we will be rewarded by finding clothing that fit.
        Just as a puzzle piece has it's place, so do we. The discouragement, tension and pressure we feel is a sign we are in the wrong place, just like a puzzle piece trying to force itself in the wrong spot - the spot will never make room for the wrong piece, it will live in constant tension and pressure. I don't know about you, but I'm tired of living that way.

        If we want to live free and have mental, emotional, physical freedom, we must have courage to explore, courage to walk alone and courage to expand our boundaries. The world is bigger than our little sphere. So this is my goal in this season of my life. Continue to detox from the old and look for ways to explore, taste and see new things. I have hope there are clothes that fit me, and there are clothes that fit you! :-)

Spiritual Connections

Bring us Back - Bellarive

Seemingly overnight

        

         I love flowers! One of my favorite artists is, Claude Monet because of his love of flowers. Monet is quoted as saying, "I perhaps owe having become a painter to flowers", they were a constant inspiration for him throughout his life. We can draw many spiritual metaphors and symbolism from nature - at least I do. 

       One of my favorite things to witness is the transition from winter to spring. I love seeing the bare branches develop little leaf nubs, and literally over night, soft, fresh green leaves decorate the beautiful trees in my yard. It always speaks volumes to me. It encourages me - we all have life inside us. God is working in the quiet and hidden places of our lives and literally over night the fruit of those workings appear. 

         This spiritual picture really stuck out to me this year while watching the winter to spring transition. Seemingly over night I saw the manifestation of the vibrant soft leaves. My basset hound, Winston, was sick and I was having to get up 3-4 times a night to let him out, give him medication, and comfort him through his healing process. I noticed the leaf nubs on my crepe myrtles earlier in the week, and wondered when they'd unfold. Then at about 3am while letting Winston out I noticed a fully decorated tree covered in leaves. I was in awe. It happened so fast when everyone was asleep.

        For those paying attention and anticipating, we know it was not over night. The majority of work was done behind closed doors, it is only the outward manifestation that came quickly. We also realize the outward beauty of these leaves is fleeting. The wind, rain, bugs, heat of the sun and other outside elements soon taint the soft, fresh and perfect leaves. It's  the inside that counts. It's what's on the inside that keeps us producing life and beauty year after year.

           The same goes with flowers - no matter how beautiful they are, they will fall apart petal by petal and new vibrant flowers will bloom beside them. It's the health of the whole plant that allows beauty to keep manifesting over and over again, not the vibrancy of one singled out flower - the whole plant must cooperate. There is also a season for outward manifestations. If a flower had free will and decided to bloom in the middle of a winter storm, it would be even more short lived. There is a season and time for everything. 

          I'm always reminded how the quiet and peaceful enjoyment of God's creations can encourage us in countless ways.

Gifts Differing - notes & encouragment

    One of my favorite hobbies is studying personality types. I love the work of Isabel Briggs Myers. She was not a psychologist, but her work, "presents, in understandable language, the ideas about personality type from famous Swiss psychologist, Carl Gustav Jung, as they apply to normal everyday people with normal everyday problems" (Gifts Differing pg xi). I also love that she was a christian, passionate about the differing parts of the Body of Christ.

    As I was reading Isabel's book, Gifts Differing, I highlighted what popped out to me, as I do with almost every book I read, and wanted to share a few things, since I have yet to find someone in my sphere as passionate and interested in this as I am (introverts love talking about subjects they are interested in). 

     Chapter 17, Obstacles to Type Development, is a powerful reminder and encouragement to allow people to live authentically, out from under our thumb and expectations. She shares how, "less-frequent types find their infrequency an obstacle to their development." My husband and I are both "less-frequent types" according to MBTI personality system. This knowledge connected a lot of dots, and made sense of much of our experiences growing up. Feelings of rejections, inferiority, isolation, lack of connection etc all made sense since we were always massively out numbered. This chapter began to stir me, even more, about my future kids and how recognizing who God created them to be is vitally important to their development.

      In, Gifts Differing, Isabel continues to share how a lack of acceptance at home is another obstacle to a child's development. "If parents understand and accept their child's type, the children have a spot of firm ground to stand on and a place in which to be themselves. But if children suspect that their parents want them to be different- to go against their own type- then the children lose hope." (pg182).  The lack of opportunity presents another obstacle, "Unknowingly parents frequently refuse their children the conditions necessary for good type development; the young introverts who get no peace or privacy, the extravert shut off from people and activity, the intuitives tied to routine matters of fact, the sensing child required to learn everything through words with nothing to see or handle, the young thinkers who are never given a reason or permitted an argument, the feelings types in a family where nobody cares for harmony, the judging types for who all decisions are handed down by excessively decisive parents, and the young perceptives who are never allowed to run and find out" (pg183).

     Chapter 19 goes on to, Individual's Road to Excellence, "preferences are inborn, but just as parent's frequently try to make a left-handed child right-handed, they may try to convert a sensing child to intuition, or a thinking child to feeling, to conform to the parent's inborn preference. Unless stoutly resisted, such pressure can be a serious hindrance to the development of a person's rightful gifts" (pg193).  

      The more I study personalities the more I'm totally convinced that the world needs this! More individuals need to be empowered with this knowledge to help bring peace and wisdom to their communities and circles of influence.  I know I would have thrived in public school if my teachers and authority figures knew and cared about such things. I always struggled because I was an introvert. It was so hard for me to take tests and learn in a classroom of 20-30 kids. I couldn't sleep at night and spent the majority of my childhood filled with anxiety and stress, visiting counselors and seeing a few doctors. My parent's even tried to get my schools to allow me to take tests in the library or somewhere more quiet but we got nothing but eye-rolls, because they had no clue about introverted people. Really? All this over a personality trait? As an adult my heart breaks for the little girl I used to be, nobody understood her. :-(

     Throughout my childhood teachers would put me in after school tutoring, remedial classes, tried to hold me back a few times. My family did not know about homeschooling. The public school system is a crowded, loud, obnoxious place for some personality types and it's almost impossible for us to thrive. Once I stated taking online college classes I thrived and I enjoyed learning tremendously. I discovered that I learn well on my own and I'm extremely self-motivated and don't need someone standing over my shoulder. It makes me sad knowing I could have been an excellent student with amazing grades, had the school, my parents and myself known about personalities and our God given brain functions. 

     Thankfully, I can already see God turning my ashes into beauty, through my passion to help others learn about personality type, and through my future kids who will be blessed with the wisdom God's allowed me and hubby to learn on our journey. 

       How many people are trying to get others to conform to their own inborn preference? We don't understand each other because many of us don't realize there are many ways of being, even God knows this and shares it with us in scripture. The Holy Spirit doesn't give everyone the same gift, why? Because God knows their is value in differences. We are all assigned a different part/function in the body of Christ, why? Because it takes a whole, healthy body to do the work God desires, not just a foot or a hand. Personality types go right along with this idea. It's who we are. We are not clones or robots. God created us with such beautiful details and these details matter.The study of personality is the best way to grow as a society, a family, a church, a friend, a parent, a spouse. When we learn to give people room to be who God created them to be, we all thrive.

The Ordinary Person

 "The choice of David, the runt and the shepherd, to be the anointed, to be a sign and representative of God's working presence in human life and history, is surely intended to convey a sense of inclusion to all ordinary men and women, the plain folk, the undistinguished in the eyes of their neighbors, those lacking social status and peer recognition. Which is to say, the overwhelming majority of all who have lived on this old planet earth. Election into God's purposes isn't by popular vote, Election into God's purposes isn't based on proven ability or potential promise."

-Eugene Peterson, Leap Over A Wall, chapter 2 pg 17-18

Family revival

    Family. We can talk about all sorts of things within the Body of Christ, but family is where I believe God's heart is. Traditions of man, legalism, cliques, power, prestige, position etc are all getting in the way of what really matters, which is a community of faith. The picture the Bible paints of the family of God looks much different than what we see today. The devotion, intimacy, forgiveness and long suffering we see encouraged within the body of Christ in the Bible is a lot of work, but it's the desire of God's heart for us all.

Tribe