Leaving Church?

     Before reading this please read the blog I posted before this one. It's a link to an article from Charisma.
       Now since you've read the article lets move forward to my blog and thoughts. I love this article. It's my hubs and my heart. The Lord asked us to start a bible study in our home for this reason. So many loving people who are discouraged about church (building) but still want fellowship - a safe place to share life with other believers.
       It's easy to demonize those who leave church but it's not an accurate view of those who leave. Many are God fearing and loyally in love with Jesus. Plus, demonizing them and calling them names is only going to push those who left farther away, proving in their minds/hearts why their leaving to begin with. 
     A few people commented on this article on Facebook saying those who left must not know Jesus or they must be focusing on the perfection of the pastor and not on Jesus and etc. But I don't think this is the case. Many I've talked to are discouraged about the people in church. They can't connect or break through. The New Testament is full of wisdom on how to get along and grow a thriving community of faith but you hardly hear pastors teaching on it. The apostles were no stranger to this. Much of the New Testament we read about them teaching people how to get along. It seems in today's church the normal people are leaving because of the misbehavior and unbalanced behavior of those within that never get corrected because everyone else is suppose to get over it. But the apostles did not have this attitude. So why do some of today's apostles exhibit this "toughen up" solution?
       Anywhere you have a group of people there will be issues because we are all different, but the key is allowing people to be open and honest so peace can be made. All to often people leave because they didn't feel safe enough to express their hurt either because of a lack of intimacy or a "get over it attitude" by those in the church. Unresolved issues cause people to pack up. Maybe the church is more focused on numbers and fame then on really touching people's lives and getting their hands dirty? If we are to help people and promote and thriving church fellowship our hands will have to get dirty sometimes.
        The bible says if we put in the work we will reap the benefits of a thriving community within our churches. But anytime someone mentions something that's tripping up the ultimate goal of unity they are told to toughen up, get over it and then they are isolated... so they leave. It's almost as if having a fake image of unity is more accepted then truly working toward the real thing. 
        People go to church for fellowship, family and connection and when they are lonely they won't stay. Church goers will say, "You have to go to church, you need accountability and relationship etc" but those who left are like, " I never got any of that at church just more rejection. What are you talking about?" You're either in or your out. Those who are in don't understand why those who are out feel the way they do and vise versa. The experience is quite different depending if your in or out. For this reason we can't be judgmental about people's experiences because each can be true at the same time.
       Sadly all to often if you are out and end up leaving you are then called rebellious. Rebellious is a word used to control those who don't fit our agenda. Many are tired of the social games, cliques, agendas.. and they simply want Jesus. How is this rebellious? I believe these small home churches the article mentions are God sent. I call them safe houses. They gather those who have been scattered and help heal their wounds.
       Another issues that's causing people to leave is charismatic abuse. I've heard so many heart breaking stories, experienced some and witnessed some. It's really turned us off from many charismatic places, which is unfortunate. I am spirit filled, but someone of the forcefulness of the charismatic movement has traumatized many including myself. That's why I believe my hubs and I would provide a safe place for fellowship within our home because we know what it's like on the other end.
    It's not surprising that within the comments the article received on Facebook how the attitude many face within the church surfaced. We express hurt and open our hearts about what's pushing us away and some still comment with flip quick remarks like, "Here's a simple solution: follow Christ.." Most people in church know to follow Christ and to look at Jesus. To say this simply proves that some don't want to be bothered. They are satisfied and don't want anyone messing up their perfect experience. The truth is as the article mentions this is a huge issue and many are leaving the church (building). Obviously, the flip remarks and the "just get over it attitude" is not a solution. Another poster said about those leaving church, "Perhaps, it is because the people in question are not truly Christian."  and a lady responded, "Not necessarily true. I have left church but not God. The churches I have attended are either dead and irrelevant, or too crazy charasmatic. Real bible teaching is practically non-existent. Fellowship...what fellowship! I've attended church (several different ones) for over 10 years and have no one in any of those churches I am in contact with. Cliques and groups rule. Not interested." I'd have to agree with the ladies response. How are we going to again demonize those who leave by saying they are not Christians? Instead we should look in the mirror and ask why are they leaving? Switching churches is hard, it's not fun. If people are leaving there are reasons. It would be wise to listen to those reasons, pray about them and see if God would have a solution or better way for us next time.
    Several people who commented got it right, in my opinion. They said, "Are they really leaving the Church? Or are they leaving traditional religion, manipulating organizations in search of a deeper truer relationship with God. Some are being called into "New wineskins." and " I think the heart of the article is not that people are leaving "church" but many are 'becomeing the Church" more in small simple fellowships then in big buildings... more like the original "Church"...
      I don't want anyone who reads this to think I'm against church (building) because that's not true. Even in our Bible studies I'll always encourage people to find a church or be faithful at the churches they are in. There are lots of great churches out there but no perfect church. Remember churches are hospitals for the hurting and everyone is welcome, therefore you will not always have the experience you hope for all the time. The key is having leadership that addresses issues, builds bridges and creates an atmosphere were hurt is safe to expose and be healed. The question is not if you will get hurt it's when. And when you do does your church promote healing,forgiveness and unity? Or does it sweep it under the rug, tell you to toughen up, and act careless to things hindering fellowship?