Meaning it

          Have you ever had a falling-out with a friend, then after some time had past you reconcile and try to move forward? I've only had this happen a few times, thankfully. One thing I've learned through those experiences is the importance of truly letting people "begin again" - giving second chances, a fresh starts.
          When we make people pay for hurting us in some passive aggressive way we are pouring poison on our relationship. We are putting the blame entirely on the other person without assuming responsibility for our part in the downfall. We are not only ruining our friend's second chance but our own. 
          People get tired of paying a price. Little jabs here and there add up and create distance between the very relationships we want to keep, self destruction at it's best, if we aren't careful a root of bitterness can completely sever our relationship's chance of survival. The jabs get old and expose our stifled emotional growth.While we are busy being "catty" our friends will have outgrown us.
          We can't offer a second chances and continue to make people pay in sublet ways. If we choose to do this we are sabotaging our relationship from the get-go. It's also arrogant because again, it's putting the blame entirely on the other person and most people aren't willing to carry the responsibility  of a broken relationship alone. It shows the other person we don't recognize how we hurt them which is unsettling in any wannabe healthy relationship.
         Besides my own relationship experience, I was a counseling and psychology student for awhile and one thing I've learned is that anyone can want a restored relationship, but unless you are willing to lay your feelings aside, throw away your pride and do the hard work, it's not going to last. I've read testimony after testimony of people who had been divorced finally reconciling and living "happily ever after" again. One thing they all have in common is a "clean slate". They gave each other the gift of "starting over", completely and fully. On the other hand I've read about relationships that tried to reconcile but couldn't. They were okay for awhile but  didn't last the test of time because one or both of the partners couldn't let go. They continued to bring up the past, throw jabs here and there and continued making the other person pay. The choice is ours. It does not matter the relationship we are trying to save the truth remains the same - relationships flourish when each person is allowed a sincere chance to start over.
          When we decide to reconcile let's make sure we truly mean it by giving the relationship a fair chance to bloom by forgiving completely. No relationship can stand when someone is harboring unforgivness. Count the cost and decide, "Do I want to save this relationship?" If so, then give it a second chance and mean it! Let go of the drama and start over, sincerely.