For King and Country - Shoulders

Finding joy in today

     "Everybody wants something extravagant in their lives, but no one wants something consistent." -Damon Thompson

      It's not bad to have a vision, to have a dream of something better. The problem is when we focus so much on what we want we forget to enjoy what we have. Some of us can get trapped praying for blessings, that we never pray, "God help me thrive where I am. Help me learn to embrace and love what you've already provided". We spend much of our lives envying, craving and focusing on tomorrow, totally neglecting God in our today.

       I've been guilty of this. I'm a natural dreamer in many ways. It was actually a sleeping dream that brought this to my attention. When I woke up I knew I needed to change my focus. I need to be thankful and thrive where God has planted me. If we spend our lives craving something else, looking to the future, we totally miss the opportunities that wait for us today. I've since changed some of my prayers. I'm asking God to help me appreciate and engage today while being hopeful for tomorrow.

       What if our plans are not His plans? Are we going to live unhappy and discontent? We have to learn to surrender and find happiness in what has been provided. Everyone's journey is different and we shouldn't spend our lives envying someone else. There are treasures hidden on our journey too, but we will totally miss them if we are focused on another person's journey.

Creating a healing oasis

     Creating healing spaces comes naturally to my hubby and I. We learned early on in our lives that in order to have inner peace we needed to live in beautiful and peaceful spaces. My hubby and I can both attest that this started as children. As adult home owners we find ourselves doing the same thing - my hubby even made his office at work into a little oasis.

     For some of us creating an oasis every where we go comes easily, but for some it may take a little more energy. I'd like to encourage you that the pay off is worth the effort. One way hubby and I set the mood for our healing spaces is with paint. Most of the rooms in our home are shades of blues and greens. We find these colors comforting, peaceful and yet energizing at the same time. I wont go into detail about how we decorate - decorating is personal for everyone - I will say it's important to have a space that brings you peace not anxiety - put in the effort to protect your peace zone.

      My favorite healing space at our house and the main one I want to talk about is our backyard. We don't always have the means to travel or go on beautiful vacations, but we can create a little healing oasis with nature in our own backyards. Even when we lived in an extra small apartment, views facing the parking lot, we made a little peaceful space on our tiny balcony using a few potted plants. Protecting our inner peace and nurturing our mental health needs to be a top priority.

     As  extremely sensitive people my hubby and I learned early on we needed a space to lick our wounds, heal and recharge. One thing my hubby loves is the sound of water. We found a used fountain and fixed it up a bit with paint and new parts. The lovely sound of water is healing to my hubby. I love the vibrant colors nature has to offer, so we planted different types of roses and crepe myrtles. 

      We are starting a veggie garden to supply our own veggies for our regular juicing routine. We've also created little cozy places throughout our backyard to sit. We have a spot by our fountain where we strung up some lights for romantic whimsical evenings. We have chairs under our shade tree, and some more on our deck area. All these little spaces allow us to go where we feel most at peace depending on our mood. Making our mental, emotional and spiritual health a priority by creating peaceful spaces pays off daily for us.

Dreamer - Isbells

Dream inspiration : Clothes that fit

       I dream almost daily, but a few months ago I had a dream that really encouraged me. In my dream I was standing near a rack of clothes in a store. I began trying on each piece of clothing on the rack. Some were big, some were small, and even the ones that fit, really didn't fit well. I remember looking at myself thinking, "This doesn't feel like me at all." I was very discouraged. Then, while feeling hopeless, my dream's view expands and I see the entire store filled with racks of clothes. I felt hope rise within me, "There are more clothes to choose from!" I knew I'd find something that fit and felt right on me. I just had to move away from the rack and go explore.

      Upon awaking, I knew the meaning of the dream. It encouraged me greatly. Thus far in my life I've often felt like I don't fit in anywhere. I've tried on a lot of things, tried to make things work even though the fit was off and it didn't feel like me. I've gotten discouraged thinking I'm stuck wearing clothes I don't like, clothes that don't inspire me, clothes that don't reflect who I am on the inside.  I've only spent my time trying clothes from one rack, I've tried to mix and match, do this and that, trying to get these clothes to work for me but they never will - I even hated the drab colors and style. I have to move on to other things. I need to explore. 

        After this dream, I've started to encourage people that the world is bigger than where they are. We often try to force ourselves to fit where we don't belong, in communities we don't thrive in, and take on roles for the sake of belonging even if it dims our light, but if we have courage and break away from what's comfortable and easy, we will be rewarded by finding clothing that fit.
        Just as a puzzle piece has it's place, so do we. The discouragement, tension and pressure we feel is a sign we are in the wrong place, just like a puzzle piece trying to force itself in the wrong spot - the spot will never make room for the wrong piece, it will live in constant tension and pressure. I don't know about you, but I'm tired of living that way.

        If we want to live free and have mental, emotional, physical freedom, we must have courage to explore, courage to walk alone and courage to expand our boundaries. The world is bigger than our little sphere. So this is my goal in this season of my life. Continue to detox from the old and look for ways to explore, taste and see new things. I have hope there are clothes that fit me, and there are clothes that fit you! :-)

Spiritual Connections

Bring us Back - Bellarive

Seemingly overnight

        

         I love flowers! One of my favorite artists is, Claude Monet because of his love of flowers. Monet is quoted as saying, "I perhaps owe having become a painter to flowers", they were a constant inspiration for him throughout his life. We can draw many spiritual metaphors and symbolism from nature - at least I do. 

       One of my favorite things to witness is the transition from winter to spring. I love seeing the bare branches develop little leaf nubs, and literally over night, soft, fresh green leaves decorate the beautiful trees in my yard. It always speaks volumes to me. It encourages me - we all have life inside us. God is working in the quiet and hidden places of our lives and literally over night the fruit of those workings appear. 

         This spiritual picture really stuck out to me this year while watching the winter to spring transition. Seemingly over night I saw the manifestation of the vibrant soft leaves. My basset hound, Winston, was sick and I was having to get up 3-4 times a night to let him out, give him medication, and comfort him through his healing process. I noticed the leaf nubs on my crepe myrtles earlier in the week, and wondered when they'd unfold. Then at about 3am while letting Winston out I noticed a fully decorated tree covered in leaves. I was in awe. It happened so fast when everyone was asleep.

        For those paying attention and anticipating, we know it was not over night. The majority of work was done behind closed doors, it is only the outward manifestation that came quickly. We also realize the outward beauty of these leaves is fleeting. The wind, rain, bugs, heat of the sun and other outside elements soon taint the soft, fresh and perfect leaves. It's  the inside that counts. It's what's on the inside that keeps us producing life and beauty year after year.

           The same goes with flowers - no matter how beautiful they are, they will fall apart petal by petal and new vibrant flowers will bloom beside them. It's the health of the whole plant that allows beauty to keep manifesting over and over again, not the vibrancy of one singled out flower - the whole plant must cooperate. There is also a season for outward manifestations. If a flower had free will and decided to bloom in the middle of a winter storm, it would be even more short lived. There is a season and time for everything. 

          I'm always reminded how the quiet and peaceful enjoyment of God's creations can encourage us in countless ways.

Gifts Differing - notes & encouragment

    One of my favorite hobbies is studying personality types. I love the work of Isabel Briggs Myers. She was not a psychologist, but her work, "presents, in understandable language, the ideas about personality type from famous Swiss psychologist, Carl Gustav Jung, as they apply to normal everyday people with normal everyday problems" (Gifts Differing pg xi). I also love that she was a christian, passionate about the differing parts of the Body of Christ.

    As I was reading Isabel's book, Gifts Differing, I highlighted what popped out to me, as I do with almost every book I read, and wanted to share a few things, since I have yet to find someone in my sphere as passionate and interested in this as I am (introverts love talking about subjects they are interested in). 

     Chapter 17, Obstacles to Type Development, is a powerful reminder and encouragement to allow people to live authentically, out from under our thumb and expectations. She shares how, "less-frequent types find their infrequency an obstacle to their development." My husband and I are both "less-frequent types" according to MBTI personality system. This knowledge connected a lot of dots, and made sense of much of our experiences growing up. Feelings of rejections, inferiority, isolation, lack of connection etc all made sense since we were always massively out numbered. This chapter began to stir me, even more, about my future kids and how recognizing who God created them to be is vitally important to their development.

      In, Gifts Differing, Isabel continues to share how a lack of acceptance at home is another obstacle to a child's development. "If parents understand and accept their child's type, the children have a spot of firm ground to stand on and a place in which to be themselves. But if children suspect that their parents want them to be different- to go against their own type- then the children lose hope." (pg182).  The lack of opportunity presents another obstacle, "Unknowingly parents frequently refuse their children the conditions necessary for good type development; the young introverts who get no peace or privacy, the extravert shut off from people and activity, the intuitives tied to routine matters of fact, the sensing child required to learn everything through words with nothing to see or handle, the young thinkers who are never given a reason or permitted an argument, the feelings types in a family where nobody cares for harmony, the judging types for who all decisions are handed down by excessively decisive parents, and the young perceptives who are never allowed to run and find out" (pg183).

     Chapter 19 goes on to, Individual's Road to Excellence, "preferences are inborn, but just as parent's frequently try to make a left-handed child right-handed, they may try to convert a sensing child to intuition, or a thinking child to feeling, to conform to the parent's inborn preference. Unless stoutly resisted, such pressure can be a serious hindrance to the development of a person's rightful gifts" (pg193).  

      The more I study personalities the more I'm totally convinced that the world needs this! More individuals need to be empowered with this knowledge to help bring peace and wisdom to their communities and circles of influence.  I know I would have thrived in public school if my teachers and authority figures knew and cared about such things. I always struggled because I was an introvert. It was so hard for me to take tests and learn in a classroom of 20-30 kids. I couldn't sleep at night and spent the majority of my childhood filled with anxiety and stress, visiting counselors and seeing a few doctors. My parent's even tried to get my schools to allow me to take tests in the library or somewhere more quiet but we got nothing but eye-rolls, because they had no clue about introverted people. Really? All this over a personality trait? As an adult my heart breaks for the little girl I used to be, nobody understood her. :-(

     Throughout my childhood teachers would put me in after school tutoring, remedial classes, tried to hold me back a few times. My family did not know about homeschooling. The public school system is a crowded, loud, obnoxious place for some personality types and it's almost impossible for us to thrive. Once I stated taking online college classes I thrived and I enjoyed learning tremendously. I discovered that I learn well on my own and I'm extremely self-motivated and don't need someone standing over my shoulder. It makes me sad knowing I could have been an excellent student with amazing grades, had the school, my parents and myself known about personalities and our God given brain functions. 

     Thankfully, I can already see God turning my ashes into beauty, through my passion to help others learn about personality type, and through my future kids who will be blessed with the wisdom God's allowed me and hubby to learn on our journey. 

       How many people are trying to get others to conform to their own inborn preference? We don't understand each other because many of us don't realize there are many ways of being, even God knows this and shares it with us in scripture. The Holy Spirit doesn't give everyone the same gift, why? Because God knows their is value in differences. We are all assigned a different part/function in the body of Christ, why? Because it takes a whole, healthy body to do the work God desires, not just a foot or a hand. Personality types go right along with this idea. It's who we are. We are not clones or robots. God created us with such beautiful details and these details matter.The study of personality is the best way to grow as a society, a family, a church, a friend, a parent, a spouse. When we learn to give people room to be who God created them to be, we all thrive.

The Ordinary Person

 "The choice of David, the runt and the shepherd, to be the anointed, to be a sign and representative of God's working presence in human life and history, is surely intended to convey a sense of inclusion to all ordinary men and women, the plain folk, the undistinguished in the eyes of their neighbors, those lacking social status and peer recognition. Which is to say, the overwhelming majority of all who have lived on this old planet earth. Election into God's purposes isn't by popular vote, Election into God's purposes isn't based on proven ability or potential promise."

-Eugene Peterson, Leap Over A Wall, chapter 2 pg 17-18

Family revival

    Family. We can talk about all sorts of things within the Body of Christ, but family is where I believe God's heart is. Traditions of man, legalism, cliques, power, prestige, position etc are all getting in the way of what really matters, which is a community of faith. The picture the Bible paints of the family of God looks much different than what we see today. The devotion, intimacy, forgiveness and long suffering we see encouraged within the body of Christ in the Bible is a lot of work, but it's the desire of God's heart for us all.

Tribe

Why you will fail to have a great career by Larry Smith

Road Rage

     A few months ago my husband and I decided to go shopping on a Friday night *bad idea*. Everywhere we turned there was traffic. We ended up being a victim of road rage. I seriously thought this guy was going to pull out a gun or come pounding on our car window, as I've seen many times caught on camera. Out of nowhere this guy begins honking his horn frantically. Hubby and I look behind us to see what was going on. While being distracted the cars in front of us move on because the light turned green. Of course, being distracted we didn't go as fast as person behind us would have liked. So as we did begin to move forward he zooms in front of us, almost hitting our front bumper and slams on his breaks. We slam on our breaks almost hitting him. He jumps out of his car and starts yelling at us and waving his fist in the air like crazy in the middle of the road, stopping all traffic. Hubby and I have no idea what is going on, it all happened so fast. Thankfully hubby is not hot tempered and remained calm. We didn't exchange a single word or roll down our window. We just sat there in shock. The man thankfully jumped in his truck and zoomed off. What just happened? 

      It seems like everyday I'm reading about someone being shot because of road rage. What's going on? Why are people so angry? This one man followed a lady for miles. Then pulled up next to her and shot her. This is so crazy. Again, today I heard the news of another lady being shot because of road rage. Hubby says he's had a man chase him down the highway in his car screaming from the window. Are you kidding me? People are so angry.

     I believe one reason is our growing sense of entitlement. From commercials, to social media and more we are told we deserve this and deserve that. We are able to express our thoughts freely and feel entitled to tell people what we think. We are becoming increasingly self-centered as God is being removed from every facet of many people's lives.

      I also believe we are  stressed out. We work long hours without raises or appreciation while our mortgages and other bills increase, and now mandatory health care that's anything but affordable. We are always trying to play catch up and keep up with our peers. Many of us aren't truly happy. Materialism has exploded to new levels. We've forgotten the true meaning of life. Working our  lives away for things will never fill the God shaped hole in our hearts. We no longer value a gentle and peaceful life.

       What's the solution? God! But we can't force people to focus on their spiritual lives, we can only control ourselves. It's a scary world we live in. We can only pray that God's hedge of protection surrounds us and that we are good stewards of the light He's put in us. We must be committed to shine in the dark places. I really have no solution for other people because I can not control other people. I do know it's increased my prayer life anytime I'm out and about. I'd be lying if I said I didn't have a bit of anxiety but I have to trust God with my life.

      He has offered us wisdom in the Bible. One verse in particular that comes to mind is Proverbs 15:1 NIV, "A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger". I think that's what truly saved us during our road rage experience. We didn't yell back or anything. Lets remember that before we honk and drive with an attitude that could stir up wrath. Let's try and be peaceful people even in our driving though it doesn't always matter when faced with a road rage - many are innocent victims.

         We must trust God as we walk this earth.

Personality Psychology

        One of my passions is personality psychology. Ever since childhood I would study people. I'd notice things and put together patterns about their behaviors. I'd see their hearts and the secret things causing them sadness, and things that would make them sparkle. I didn't understand it all at an early age but I knew I felt things deeply. I would feel and see what those around me didn't even if I didn't have the words or courage to speak up.

       When I got older I was introduced to personality psychology. "Personality psychology looks at the patterns of thoughts, feelings, and behavior that make a person unique". I began reading books, took a sociology class in High School, then started attending a discipleship class at my church that focused on personality types as a way to helping individuals and communities grow. I was hooked!

       The Bible talks about putting in the hard work to get along as a community of God. Lack of community is the biggest thing hindering the church today. It's not the outside world or anything else we can list, it's the lack of solid community. It's not that we don't want community, which can be the case sometimes, it's that we don't know how to create a thriving community with so many distractions and selfish ambitions. Personality psychology helps with this - it teaches us to celebrate each others differences, roles and functions. God created everyone with  unique functions. We can see this in the spiritual gifts listed in the Bible and how the Bible uses parts of a human body to describe the unique placement of individuals within a community. God created us as moving, living, parts of a whole.   

        Many of us carry a spirit of divorce. We will drop friends over anything. We don't carry a sense of commitment to one another. If we knew how people's cognitive functions played a role in their personalities, hopes, dreams, desires, fears, hang ups etc. we'd be more gracious and less willing to drop people. Cognitive Function is an intellectual process by which one becomes aware of, perceives, or comprehends ideas. It involves all aspects of perception, thinking, reasoning, and remembering (Medical dictionary). I'm not a professional personality psychologist, but I see how the basics of personality can help a group of people thrive. 

         Some of my favorite typology systems are the Enneagram and MBTI.  I enjoy the Enneagram because it includes growth charts that help individuals track their level of health. You can see how your personality expresses itself depending on your level of health. This helps ensure you never fall into self-destructive patterns. I enjoy the MBTI because it breaks down our cognitive functions. Our brain functions truly dictate our personality. God created us each unique. When we understand how our functions work we will be more understanding of others. 

          I know one young lady who applied to numerous jobs. She finally got a call back for an interview. The first interview went well, then she was called back to interview with the second manager. The young lady said she knew the second manager did not like her, and she was right because a day later she received a call saying, "Sorry, we are looking for something different." What happened? Why did one manger like her and the second dislike her instantly? Could it be they found different personality traits more/less appealing? The second manager had a knee jerk reaction to the young lady's personality and saw it as a negative, whereas the first manger saw it positively and called her back. How often do we see someone negatively because we don't understand  their cognitive functions. Personality doesn't make someone right or wrong, just different. God takes pleasure in these differences and so should we. 

          In my past, I remember a woman actually telling me she was trying to make me more "fun". In her mind, her extroverted personality was the right way and my reserved personality was wrong. But, let me tell you, I've tried my whole life to change with no success. Because everyone from teachers, coaches, friends etc have made me feel "wrong" about myself. Sadly, this is the case for many reserved, sensitive, feeler types. America celebrates loud and it encourages extroverted traits, whereas, other countries frown upon such personality traits. Environment plays a big role in whether someone feels accepted or rejected. (Word of encouragement: Always remember the world is bigger than where you are!)

.       It's stressful and draining when we try to change our personality. Once we learn that our personality is rooted in our cognitive functions we see how pointless it is attempting to change it. Everyone's personality style should be celebrated because we all bring something to the table. If the second manager was a bit more introspective she'd see how it was probably her own beliefs about personality that caused her to rejected the young lady. She probably had a set idea of what personality style was right and wrong - as many of us do.

         A community of people thrive when each personality type is equally represented. We can see how Human Resource managers often struggle with this. They tend to higher the same type of people and the success of those they higher only solidify their bias. Unfortunately, human resources managers don't see how those they've rejected often go out and have successful work experiences elsewhere. There is no right or wrong personality type. 

        The study of personality is important for all communities and individuals and I love incorporating it when ministering to people. If you really want to appreciate someone and respect their differences have them take a personality test. Learn about them. See the world from their perspective. You may find they'd make a great life long friend, or a great business partner. You never know until you truly see them for who they are.   :-) 

Guy Winch: The case for emotional hygiene

This is my heart! My passion is for discipleship, emotional and spiritual growth and maturity. I hear it, see it, feel it everywhere.

The Power of God - Healing Testimony

If I have you - Vertical Church Band

 Jesus, only Jesus

I don't neeed the riches of this world

I can't even take them where I'm going

I don't need a thousand empty words

I just need the ones that you have spoken

If I have you and nothing else

I have everything

If I have you and nothing else

I have everything

I don't need to see tomorrow's plans

I just need to trust that you are working

I don't even need to understand

I just need to keep you as the first thing

If I have you and nothing else

I have everything

If I have you and nothing else

I have everything

You are more

 You are more

 You are more than enough

If I have you and nothing else 

I have everything

If i have you and nothing else 

I have everything

John Paul Jackson - Forever changed

He taught us to hear. He taught us to trust. He taught us to see.

      

           It's hard for us to believe John Paul Jackson has passed away. JPJ was the first Bible teacher to speak into my life. His ministry inspired and challenged my husband and I since our early years. He understood us. He had experiences like us. He was humble. He was a spiritual father. Our hearts are broken.

        John Paul Jackson's ministry always  emphasized character as a key element in our spiritual lives. He challenged us to believe God and walk with integrity. He inspired us to live a holy life in every area of our lives. He is also one of the only teachers I know that spoke about spiritual integrity.  As a young teen, I remember throwing away all my magazines with horoscopes in the back, I haven't read another horoscope since. I got rid of movies, t-shirts and anything that brought blatant worship to anything other than our God. This has carried into our adult lives. I truly credit his ministry for many of the super natural events in our lives. He pointed us to holiness as teens and as we perused holiness, miracles continued to manifest in our lives. He never separated the two and we as adults have not separated the two.

         I'm filled with tears just thinking about him and his gentle yet bold spirit. He carried a calm and quiet confidence that is rare. I remember as a teen I heard JPJ share his heart about the rejected and misunderstood. He said he was not after the crowds and fans. He was committed to reaching the ones left out by the mainstream church. His heart was to show the outsiders that God loved them, God was speaking to them and God could heal them. He'd take a team and minster at new age conventions, to witches and people who were in the occult. He wanted them to know God was the true source of power and light, and our God loved them and created them with purpose. He would often say for every good gift of God the enemy has made a cheap copy to mimic it. 

           John Paul Jackson will forever be missed. I honestly can't believe he's not here anymore. I know we will see him again one day, but knowing I'll never read a new article, hear another live teaching, or take a class by him is heart breaking. We will never understand why some live a 100yrs and others pass away so young. Our times are in God's hands and we must trust him. 

          It's hard knowing new generations of Christians will never know John Paul Jackson the way we did. You will forever be missed. You taught us the power in holiness, you taught us to trust God radically, you taught us to hear and you taught us to see. We love you and will see you again.

Is this you?