Romans 8:27-39The Message (MSG)

Meanwhile, the moment we get tired in the waiting, God’s Spirit is right alongside helping us along. If we don’t know how or what to pray, it doesn’t matter. He does our praying in and for us, making prayer out of our wordless sighs, our aching groans. He knows us far better than we know ourselves, knows our pregnant condition, and keeps us present before God. That’s why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good.
 

God knew what he was doing from the very beginning. He decided from the outset to shape the lives of those who love him along the same lines as the life of his Son. The Son stands first in the line of humanity he restored. We see the original and intended shape of our lives there in him. After God made that decision of what his children should be like, he followed it up by calling people by name. After he called them by name, he set them on a solid basis with himself. And then, after getting them established, he stayed with them to the end, gloriously completing what he had begun.
 

 So, what do you think? With God on our side like this, how can we lose? If God didn’t hesitate to put everything on the line for us, embracing our condition and exposing himself to the worst by sending his own Son, is there anything else he wouldn’t gladly and freely do for us? And who would dare tangle with God by messing with one of God’s chosen? Who would dare even to point a finger? The One who died for us—who was raised to life for us!—is in the presence of God at this very moment sticking up for us. Do you think anyone is going to be able to drive a wedge between us and Christ’s love for us? There is no way! Not trouble, not hard times, not hatred, not hunger, not homelessness, not bullying threats, not backstabbing, not even the worst sins listed in Scripture:

They kill us in cold blood because they hate you.
We’re sitting ducks; they pick us off one by one.

None of this fazes us because Jesus loves us. I’m absolutely convinced that nothing—nothing living or dead, angelic or demonic, today or tomorrow, high or low, thinkable or unthinkable—absolutely nothing can get between us and God’s love because of the way that Jesus our Master has embraced us.

We cheat oursleves

       We cheat ourselves by judging ourselves harshly. We often miss out on the good gifts God wants to give us and use through us because we feel ashamed and rejected. We feel unworthy. And maybe the world has made you feel that way through past experiences, people, places etc. But God does not see us or treat us as the world often treats us.
        People can be harsh, finicky, cold one day and hot the next. We use people, we climb them like ladders and we spit them out, all while masking these behaviors as something acceptable and justifying our actions with self-righteousness. This can play with our emotions and create strong holds in our mind. But people’s hurtful ways should not be mistaken for God’s ways. God is careful with us. He sees us clearly and pays attention to the details of our lives.
       We cheat ourselves out of many blessings by seeing ourselves as less than God sees us. Fear, shame and rejection will keep us from God’s best for our lives. Instead of lining up to receive what God has in store, we hang back, we hide, we isolate ourselves. We believe the lies this world has ingrained in our minds through our experiences.
        We need to take our cue from Taylor Swift and shake it off, shake it off! Seriously, shake that junk off! It’s not going to remove itself. The enemy would like nothing more than to cripple us our entire lives. But God wants us to see ourselves the way He sees us. Walk in faith. Let your mind be lifted to a higher wave of thinking and feeling.
      You are the righteousness of God through Christ Jesus. You’ve been bought with a price. You were known and your steps planned before you ever lived a single day. Let’s be determined to never miss another blessing because of self-doubt and self-hatred. You are who God says you are

Accept it
Believe it
Walk in it
Lift up your head!
Look the world in the eye!

You're an investment

      Why do we fret and lose sleep as if God has never moved mightily in our behalf before? So quickly we forget that forever God is faithful. And if He’s been faithful once it means He will be faithful again.
       Remember your last answered prayer? Ask yourself, “Why would God move in my behalf just to forsake me now?” He wouldn’t, help is on the way! God does not start a work without finishing it. We toss things out all the time. A story we are writing doesn’t pan out, we toss it; we lose inspiration in an art project, we toss it. We get bored of a person or place, we move on.
      We are finicky. No wonder we fear God may treat us the same way - forgetting about us and replacing us with something bigger, better and newer. But God’s ways are not our ways. He treats us with respect and loyalty. He’s invested in what He started!
      Why do people buy investment properties? They see potential and they know with the right changes, updates and repairs this property will bring forth a harvest. They see what hasn’t manifested yet.
       Do you purposely invest in dead end projects? Do you purposely waste time answering junk e-mail? No. And neither does God.  God hears us when we call and he answers our prayers because He is invested in us. Our prayers are not junk mail. We are not a dead end projects. God‘s ways are true and honest. If God has moved in your life before let hope arise in your heart. He wouldn’t start a work in you without plans of completion.

            He always finishes what He starts in and through us!

Baptism of the Holy Spirit

      The way the baptism of the Holy Spirit with the evidence of speaking in tongues is administered may intimidate & scare some people. I know because I used to be one of those people.  I'm quiet, I don't like attention or performing in front of others. I'm happy in the background. But the baptism of the Holy Spirit is usually administered in groups and some people have louder displays of manifestation than others. So you may be left wondering if you measure up. Why wasn't my experience as intense? While at the same time dreading and secretly hoping your experience isn't as crazy or as public.
     I can honestly say the Holy Spirit is always extremely gentle with me. It's people, groups and ministers who can be rough. I was blessed to be part of a church in my teens and early 20s that was encouraging and shared many unique testimonies about the Holy Spirit that made me feel safe. For example, they shared a testimony about a famous preacher who only received one word, one single sound when baptized in the Holy Spirit. He spoke that one word over and over until the Holy Spirit gave him more.
        This testimony blessed me tremendously because I had a similar experience. I received  one word while women next to me started speaking sentences and paragraphs in the Holy Spirit. They were loud , shaking excitedly and bold. Whereas I was shy, uncomfortable and intimidated by the entire setting and experience. I felt almost embarrassed and ashamed that I didn't get a full language at first, or so it seemed. But the testimony about this prominent preacher only getting one word was exactly what I needed to hear. And maybe it's what you need to read?
        After that anytime I was driving my car or in my bedroom I'd turn off my worship music and sing my own songs to God and then say the word I had received while also praising God interchangeably. I'd do this over and over until I got two words, then three word, until I had a complete language that flowed.
        Sometimes we don't receive the evidence of speaking in tongues because we stop perusing it after an event. You may only want it while a minister is inviting you to participate but when you leave you forget about it. It's important that you want it. The Holy Spirit is not going to force you or possess you. We must desire it!
         I remember that I never let it go. I was holding on until it was completely mine. I never lost focus or forgot what I wanted. I remember getting a Joyce Meyer's tape on the baptism of the Holy Spirit which I played over and over again, too. I also listened to Lisa Comes minster about the Holy Spirit many times, which always blessed me tremendously. I remember going up for prayer several times after receiving my prayer language because I wanted more. I'm so thankful I pushed through the awkwardness  because being completely filled with the Holy Spirit, with the evidence of speaking in tongues, for the last 14ish yrs has been worth it!
      I've also heard testimonies of people being baptized in the Holy Spirit alone in their bed rooms. God knows your personality and what you need. Find a place you're at peace. Or find a friend you trust who is able and willing to lead and minister to you in this area.
         I share this because I deeply love the body of Christ and I know there are many like me. If that's you, I want you to feel peace, I want you to feel loved, I want you to feel safe and encouraged. Not every spirit-filled tongue-talking, vision-seeing, dream-writing, casting-out demons Christian is a loud extrovert. Some of us have anxiety and wrestle depression and dislike crowds and being center stage. We come in all shapes, sizes, personalities and comfort zones. I know how often only one type of charismatic Christian is highlighted, which leaves the more reserved Christians feeling like something is wrong.
     I read a book that gave statistics on how many Introverted spirit-filled Christians leave charismatic churches and settle for a more traditional church setting because they can't handle the overwhelming amount of extroverts and extroverted directed activities that take place at many Spirit-filled churches. It really makes you wonder. Somehow and someway being extroverted has become the most Godly and celebrated personality trait in some places. It's simply not true. There is an entire group of Spirit Filled Christians many churches are chasing away and neglecting. Sadly, they have found their home elsewhere, usually in churches that don't recognize or benefit from their spiritual gifts they carry. I believe that's a disservice to the entire body of Christ. I would love to see more reserved and introverted people participating and enjoying fellowship in places that flowed in the Spirit.
       My husband and I are fairly reserved for some places and a bit more expressive than other places. I know my hubby will start jumping in worship when the Holy Spirit moves him. I know my hands will shake and feel hot and I'll often cry while praising God and being moved by His presence. Everyone is different. And everyone's peace zone is different. Maybe God will stretch you slowly or maybe He won't. But who you are in this moment is enough. There is no judgment. There is no shame. The Holy Spirit is our comforter and friend. He is for us and not against us.
      Maybe I'll begin sharing more of my insecure awkward moments and how I survived them in hopes it encourages someone. I know those types of testimonies always strengthen me.

The only direction is forward

           The past is comfortable. Comfortable is safe. I’m not referring to a literal time and place in our past but our mental, emotional and spiritual places.  The past is easy to return to because we know the roads. We know the monsters. We know the hideouts. We know what to expect. We knew who we were. It’s tempting to park ourselves where we know things. Knowing is comfortable. And comfortable is easy.
        Every time we are promoted spiritually we enter new territory. We become newbies again.  It’s the first day of Junior High, High School, College all over again. We are a small fry surrounded by the big dogs.  We have to learn a new campus, identify the new bullies along with old ones that have followed us, we have to find our friends, our classrooms, and organize our schedule. When do we go to our locker and exchange our books for the next classes, when and where is lunch and who will we sit with? The list of new experiences and reorganizing is endless. There may be a little bit of anxiety and shaking that takes place.
        It would be easier for some of us to hang out in our elementary school forever. It’s familiar! We knew the campus. We knew the teachers. We knew where we fit. And we knew all the answers! We had our safe bubble memorized. But imagine how ridiculous it would be to see an adult sitting in a 3rd grade classroom! Growing physically but never mentally or emotionally! Not to mention creepy! Thankfully society would never let this happen. Society has a way of pushing us to keep going and hitting important goals. Red flags are waved when we begin to fall behind. For the most part society has a good way of escorting us into the next phases of our lives, social pressure can be motivating.
         Unfortunately, our spiritual graduations and transitions are not readily on display and it’s easier to hang back and chill out where we feel safe and comfortable. We don’t really have to graduate. I mean, who is paying that much attention to us? We can fake it. We can mimic more mature people and remain in elementary school or junior high forever. Who is really going to know? But, rest assured staying behind looks just as strange and creepy in the spiritual realm as it does in the natural. How long can you remain in spiritual 3rd grade? Year after year you remain the same. You may even find that you can convince others to hang back with you for a while. You become a stumbling block.
        Other times, however, we are anxious about the new territory we are entering into, but we obediently move forward all while looking back longing for the old days. The days when things were known. The days we knew our part, and place. This is normal. It’s tempting. Though we may not purposely try to hang back like some, we may be tempted to taste the past one more time, or we may slowly drift back without realizing it. If we successfully back track, we will be hit with a rude awakening. We no longer fit! We’ve out grown those places, we’ve graduated. We’ve passed the tests and there is no longer a place for us back there. It’s not the same as we romanticized in our minds.
         I’d like to encourage you the way I encourage myself. Be brave and courageous. The only direction for a child of God is forward. We have to snap ourselves out of the unhealthy head spaces and ignore the voices beckoning us backwards. Those voices and feelings are lies trying to keep us stuck. If you’ve truly leveled up, you will be disappointed returning to the past. It won’t satisfy. It will be empty and you will feel out of place. So why spend time glorifying it as something it’s not and will never be again? The only direction is forward.
         Let’s enter the new seasons of our lives and fill the places God has created for us. No matter the insecurity, anxiety and unknowns surrounding you, trust that this new territory will soon become familiar. It will become your new home. A new place of comfort and success. You will soon thrive in this new season. We can’t let the adjustment period psych us out. Just as we have to break in a new pair of shoes or jeans, we have to break in new spaces and territories. No one goes into the next grade level knowing everything. We all start as beginners over and over again.

Dream 9/6/16 - chanters

      I have so many dreams. I record them daily and sometimes I like to share them. I can't share them all otherwise I'd have no more room on my blog lol. This one was intense and very detailed. I thought it would be an interesting one to share. I always thought I could turn many of my dreams into fiction books :-)

       I had a dream. I was in a Muslim country. I was surrounded by dirt roads and a mixture of nice to run down buildings and shopping areas. I was terrified. All of a sudden I hear chants “Allah-akbar” over and over again. I hear someone call my name, "Amber!". They are trying to get my attention. I look over and see them drop to the ground into a ball (like you would in school if there were a tornado warning). I realize they are telling me to do the same so I drop just in time before the chanters reach my area. Come to find out if you don’t drop to the ground into a ball the chanters will beat you or even kill you. I felt terror!

            I saw Scotty (the country singer from American Idol) and I clung to him. I told him not to leave me and to help me get out of this country and onto a plane back home. He stuck with me for a while and helped. He seemed to have strength and wisdom about the area. Another time I was on a bus and the chanters got on, so we all dropped, feeling terror again. This happened over and over at random times. Another time I entered a restaurant and saw several Muslim women dressed in  muted grayish purple body suits, head covered, no skin or eyes showing. They were sitting and waiting it seemed. They wanted me to greet them by praising their god and saying, “Allah-akbar” but I didn’t because I didn’t know it was a rule. I saw one of the ladies get up to get something and I knew she was going to try and burn me alive because I didn’t praise their god just like they had done to someone previously. They were scheming and making up rules as they went to purposely punish people. She was acting nice, and was going to cozy up next to me then strike!

         My heart was racing as I slowly exited the building. I knew at any second I could go up in flames. I finally made it out and turned a few corners. I found a little nook, but it was surrounded by windows from that restaurant and they could see me. I saw more women crowded by the window and I was scared, so I purposely said it loud enough for them to hear me, “Allah-akbar” over and over. They heard and disappeared. I didn’t mean it in my heart. I said it to buy myself time to escape a heated situation.

         Then at some point I hear the chanters again and they are across the street. The dirt road was as wide as a 12 lane highway. I could see the chanters and they were full of energy.  I saw lots of young people participating, which surprised me, and they didn’t seem like Muslims. They were part of  black lives matter. They carried bats and weapons and chanted terrorizing whoever they passed and banging on buildings. Again, terror.

        I remember scenes of the dream where I was traveling on highways that intersected and were high like overpasses. I remember not knowing which way to go to get out of there. Eventually I didn’t see Scotty with me anymore, I assumed he left, which scared me. He wasn’t really invested in sticking with me, but more so I was clinging to him.

      At some point I enter an American store in America. I felt relief. The store was so bright with white walls that it gave off a crisp blueish tint. There was cool ac running, and calming music. I remember the peace that washed over me. Normal life again! I remember telling someone in the store my experience and they said those people want their people to live in a constant state of terror. And I agreed and said that’s exactly how I felt being there.

Our well of treasures

         Depending on the season we’re in it may be easy to forget all we’ve been through and the wisdom gained from those experiences. Especially, if we haven’t drawn from our well of treasures in a while. It’s important to remind ourselves of the work God has done in us and the roads we’ve traveled.
        I have to remember the well I have living inside of me often. A well filled with living water, wisdom, gifts, talents and more, all waiting to be given away. We all have a well to draw from. But we won’t be quick to share these treasures if we forget we have them, if we forget our identity in Christ, or minimize the work God has accomplished in us.
      Our past experiences were not in vain. The roads we’ve traveled and the jewels we’ve collected along the way are not for hoarding. We are skillful at playing head games and psyching ourselves out. Therefore, we must stay alert and stir up our gifts often. Our God is good! Our God has been faithful! We have something to offer. We have something to bring to the table.
       Many times people don’t come to the table and join their brothers and sisters in Christ because they fear not having anything to bring. But, the truth is we all have something to bring. We have to stop minimizing our parts. What we have is enough because it’s what God’s entrusted to us.
       We each have a special story that shouldn’t be compared to someone else’s story. Comparison leads us to minimize our well of treasures. What we minimize we no longer value. If we no longer see our unique set of gifts and talents as valuable, we won’t feel energized to pull them up.
       Who we are is enough! Our journey has been planned and well thought out by our Creator. We have the tools, the insight, the wisdom and the ability to bless those around us. The treasures in our well are expensive jewels, all unique to satisfy God’s plans for our lives, that we have the honor of giving away. Remember their value. Remember to pass them out. Remember you can make a difference. Draw from the well filled with treasures living inside of you.  Remember who you are and whose you are.

We have treasures to give away!

Break Open This Box

You say don’t be afraid

You are with me always

From the first to last breath

I believe, you are for me

Break open this box

around my head

around my heart

you're better than I think