Family revival

    Family. We can talk about all sorts of things within the Body of Christ, but family is where I believe God's heart is. Traditions of man, legalism, cliques, power, prestige, position etc are all getting in the way of what really matters, which is a community of faith. The picture the Bible paints of the family of God looks much different than what we see today. The devotion, intimacy, forgiveness and long suffering we see encouraged within the body of Christ in the Bible is a lot of work, but it's the desire of God's heart for us all.

Tribe

Why you will fail to have a great career by Larry Smith

Road Rage

     A few months ago my husband and I decided to go shopping on a Friday night *bad idea*. Everywhere we turned there was traffic. We ended up being a victim of road rage. I seriously thought this guy was going to pull out a gun or come pounding on our car window, as I've seen many times caught on camera. Out of nowhere this guy begins honking his horn frantically. Hubby and I look behind us to see what was going on. While being distracted the cars in front of us move on because the light turned green. Of course, being distracted we didn't go as fast as person behind us would have liked. So as we did begin to move forward he zooms in front of us, almost hitting our front bumper and slams on his breaks. We slam on our breaks almost hitting him. He jumps out of his car and starts yelling at us and waving his fist in the air like crazy in the middle of the road, stopping all traffic. Hubby and I have no idea what is going on, it all happened so fast. Thankfully hubby is not hot tempered and remained calm. We didn't exchange a single word or roll down our window. We just sat there in shock. The man thankfully jumped in his truck and zoomed off. What just happened? 

      It seems like everyday I'm reading about someone being shot because of road rage. What's going on? Why are people so angry? This one man followed a lady for miles. Then pulled up next to her and shot her. This is so crazy. Again, today I heard the news of another lady being shot because of road rage. Hubby says he's had a man chase him down the highway in his car screaming from the window. Are you kidding me? People are so angry.

     I believe one reason is our growing sense of entitlement. From commercials, to social media and more we are told we deserve this and deserve that. We are able to express our thoughts freely and feel entitled to tell people what we think. We are becoming increasingly self-centered as God is being removed from every facet of many people's lives.

      I also believe we are  stressed out. We work long hours without raises or appreciation while our mortgages and other bills increase, and now mandatory health care that's anything but affordable. We are always trying to play catch up and keep up with our peers. Many of us aren't truly happy. Materialism has exploded to new levels. We've forgotten the true meaning of life. Working our  lives away for things will never fill the God shaped hole in our hearts. We no longer value a gentle and peaceful life.

       What's the solution? God! But we can't force people to focus on their spiritual lives, we can only control ourselves. It's a scary world we live in. We can only pray that God's hedge of protection surrounds us and that we are good stewards of the light He's put in us. We must be committed to shine in the dark places. I really have no solution for other people because I can not control other people. I do know it's increased my prayer life anytime I'm out and about. I'd be lying if I said I didn't have a bit of anxiety but I have to trust God with my life.

      He has offered us wisdom in the Bible. One verse in particular that comes to mind is Proverbs 15:1 NIV, "A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger". I think that's what truly saved us during our road rage experience. We didn't yell back or anything. Lets remember that before we honk and drive with an attitude that could stir up wrath. Let's try and be peaceful people even in our driving though it doesn't always matter when faced with a road rage - many are innocent victims.

         We must trust God as we walk this earth.

Personality Psychology

        One of my passions is personality psychology. Ever since childhood I would study people. I'd notice things and put together patterns about their behaviors. I'd see their hearts and the secret things causing them sadness, and things that would make them sparkle. I didn't understand it all at an early age but I knew I felt things deeply. I would feel and see what those around me didn't even if I didn't have the words or courage to speak up.

       When I got older I was introduced to personality psychology. "Personality psychology looks at the patterns of thoughts, feelings, and behavior that make a person unique". I began reading books, took a sociology class in High School, then started attending a discipleship class at my church that focused on personality types as a way to helping individuals and communities grow. I was hooked!

       The Bible talks about putting in the hard work to get along as a community of God. Lack of community is the biggest thing hindering the church today. It's not the outside world or anything else we can list, it's the lack of solid community. It's not that we don't want community, which can be the case sometimes, it's that we don't know how to create a thriving community with so many distractions and selfish ambitions. Personality psychology helps with this - it teaches us to celebrate each others differences, roles and functions. God created everyone with  unique functions. We can see this in the spiritual gifts listed in the Bible and how the Bible uses parts of a human body to describe the unique placement of individuals within a community. God created us as moving, living, parts of a whole.   

        Many of us carry a spirit of divorce. We will drop friends over anything. We don't carry a sense of commitment to one another. If we knew how people's cognitive functions played a role in their personalities, hopes, dreams, desires, fears, hang ups etc. we'd be more gracious and less willing to drop people. Cognitive Function is an intellectual process by which one becomes aware of, perceives, or comprehends ideas. It involves all aspects of perception, thinking, reasoning, and remembering (Medical dictionary). I'm not a professional personality psychologist, but I see how the basics of personality can help a group of people thrive. 

         Some of my favorite typology systems are the Enneagram and MBTI.  I enjoy the Enneagram because it includes growth charts that help individuals track their level of health. You can see how your personality expresses itself depending on your level of health. This helps ensure you never fall into self-destructive patterns. I enjoy the MBTI because it breaks down our cognitive functions. Our brain functions truly dictate our personality. God created us each unique. When we understand how our functions work we will be more understanding of others. 

          I know one young lady who applied to numerous jobs. She finally got a call back for an interview. The first interview went well, then she was called back to interview with the second manager. The young lady said she knew the second manager did not like her, and she was right because a day later she received a call saying, "Sorry, we are looking for something different." What happened? Why did one manger like her and the second dislike her instantly? Could it be they found different personality traits more/less appealing? The second manager had a knee jerk reaction to the young lady's personality and saw it as a negative, whereas the first manger saw it positively and called her back. How often do we see someone negatively because we don't understand  their cognitive functions. Personality doesn't make someone right or wrong, just different. God takes pleasure in these differences and so should we. 

          In my past, I remember a woman actually telling me she was trying to make me more "fun". In her mind, her extroverted personality was the right way and my reserved personality was wrong. But, let me tell you, I've tried my whole life to change with no success. Because everyone from teachers, coaches, friends etc have made me feel "wrong" about myself. Sadly, this is the case for many reserved, sensitive, feeler types. America celebrates loud and it encourages extroverted traits, whereas, other countries frown upon such personality traits. Environment plays a big role in whether someone feels accepted or rejected. (Word of encouragement: Always remember the world is bigger than where you are!)

.       It's stressful and draining when we try to change our personality. Once we learn that our personality is rooted in our cognitive functions we see how pointless it is attempting to change it. Everyone's personality style should be celebrated because we all bring something to the table. If the second manager was a bit more introspective she'd see how it was probably her own beliefs about personality that caused her to rejected the young lady. She probably had a set idea of what personality style was right and wrong - as many of us do.

         A community of people thrive when each personality type is equally represented. We can see how Human Resource managers often struggle with this. They tend to higher the same type of people and the success of those they higher only solidify their bias. Unfortunately, human resources managers don't see how those they've rejected often go out and have successful work experiences elsewhere. There is no right or wrong personality type. 

        The study of personality is important for all communities and individuals and I love incorporating it when ministering to people. If you really want to appreciate someone and respect their differences have them take a personality test. Learn about them. See the world from their perspective. You may find they'd make a great life long friend, or a great business partner. You never know until you truly see them for who they are.   :-) 

Guy Winch: The case for emotional hygiene

This is my heart! My passion is for discipleship, emotional and spiritual growth and maturity. I hear it, see it, feel it everywhere.

The Power of God - Healing Testimony