Divine love journal

I'm going to start a journal and carry with me wherever I go. I started one awhile back but somehow got lazy and forgot about it. This new journal will be filled with people's names that God puts on my heart. I'll spend time praying over them until I get divine words of encouragement. I need to start stretching this gift to the max. Pastor Victoria says we need to put a demand on our gifts and I don't think I'm demanding enough from mind and it's leaving me bored. I want the prophetic river to continually flow from my mouth so I need to work it out more and build those muscles. So maybe I'll have a journal full of names and blank spaces but oh well. I will pray and meditate until I have something to give away. God is faithful. Plus I need the challenge.

If' I'm talking to someone for awhile and we getting into a deeply spiritual conversation I can sense the Holy Spirit pull me and I being to flow and words continue to come. I don't even have to think about it. It's like this super natural excitement, assurance and just confidence that God will indeed do what He promised! In those moments I think I could be a motivational speaker. ha-ha I'm a different person it seems. Maybe I just need to learn to keep myself worked up in the spirit and then I can be that way all the time.

I really want to bust down these walls in my life and flow in that divine love that over takes me sometimes.

One of my friends said the most amazing thing. She said that the enemy attacks us in the area of our giftings (which makes sense). She said for an encourager it's discouragement or rejection. If a person with prophecy feels discouraged or rejected they wont encourage anyone or have the confidence to reach out. Maybe for someone with faith it might be doubt. They can't believe for anything if they are busy doubting. This could be an interesting study. Find what people struggle with the most and see the positive opposite to find their gift??? Would that work?

Dream 6/10/08

I dreamed that I was floating in a wide river full of people in tubes. It seemed normal to be in the river and the water was clean. There were all sorts of different people hanging out with friends and doing their own thing. I was floating with an Indian girl (from India). I stayed close to her. We seemed like good friends though we just met, she was very kind to me. We floated along the river for a long stretch. Then I was out of the river and I was walking on a road with the Indian girl/woman. She lead me to a big group of India girls. I felt insecure at first but they accepted me and they began kissing one another on the cheek and one leaned in to kiss me and I leaned away out of awkwardness but she came in closer anyway and kissed my cheek. It felt so real. They were all very nice. The dream was very colorful, peaceful and bright.

I also dreamed that I was talking to the Holy Spirit. I had a scroll that looked like toilet paper in my hand that was painted with beautiful pictures. The person I was talking to (but never saw) said that he does supply all our needs and he does take care of everyone but the world has become to ungrateful. They always want more and more and nothing is ever enough. What satisfied other generations does not satisfy this one. It was like he was saying that the beautiful things he once gave us aren't appreciated anymore because the world has become so materialistic. It's not that he's not providing it's that they don't appreciate what has been provided. In today's society bigger is better and if someone doesn't have a Mercedes for a car they just aren't happy. It was an amazing conversation I wish I could remember it word for word but as I was waking up it continued to fade into the distance.

Anyways I read in a Dream book that we should pray after every dream and say "Lord how would you like me to respond to what you've shown me?" I think I will start praying that.

Best Friends- How we met

   Newman and I met in 9th grade where we shared 2-Block Algebra and English. So we spent at least 3 hours a day together for an entire year, not counting all the hours we spent in after school tutoring and walking the halls together between classes. We have more memories than one could imagine. We still sit back and laugh over the silly notes and pictures we have stored away in boxes in each of our closets. We often wonder, "Where were you when I was a kid?" because neither of us had many friends let alone a "best friend", but God's timing is perfect. One thing is for sure though, if it wasn't for the divine hand of God we would have never crossed paths at all. We really did meet at an important time. It was a time when the Lord was drawing both of us to Himself. A time of separation from the world and a time of sanctification. It's wonderful to have shared such a life changing season with someone I've grown to care so much about.

     Through out High School we went on to share only one other class and that was web design, but our friendship continued to develop. We started going to the same church and even walked up the the alter and got baptized at the same time. Newman has held my hand in the toughest times and been my laughter in the darkest. I am extremely blessed and honored to have him in my life. There is nothing I could do to deserve such an amazing friend. God is so good!

     I often think about the saying "It's not the quantity of friends that counts. It's the quality of friends." And though I've had few friends my entire life I can't complain because the quality of the ones I got are above amazing.

Thank you Jesus, forever and for always

1999-Forever